A survey courtesy of

Avitable’s answers are much more funny – and more dirty – than mine.

1. What’s the last mistake you made? I cut things a little close with our finances this month due to not paying close enough attention.

2. Is the sun shining? Fuck yes. Too damned much, it’s shining.

3. Can you successfully blow up and tie a balloon? The blowing (heh) isn’t so much a problem, the tying always thwarts me.

4. Do you like text messaging? I am very anti-text messaging. For crying out loud, a phone is for making phone calls.

5. Are you having a good/bad hair day? I’m having an unopinionated hair day – pony tail, no product.

6. What was your last purchase? A movie ticket to “Live Free or Die Hard”.

7. Are you wearing any make-up right now? None ay-tall. Combined with number five, I am one sessy bitch.

8. What are your plans for later? Watch more TV, surf more internet, listen to Calvin HUFF (he’s bored), read, feed the lizards, feed the dogs, get the coffee ready for tomorrow, and go to bed.

9. What is your favorite DDR song? I had to Google this one… DDR I believe stands for “Dance Dance Revolution”, which I have never played and so I have no favorite. I think the Dance, Bitches! mix would qualify… of which I would say “California Love” is my favorite.

10. Is there any drama within your life? Geez oh Pete, is there ever. Calvin and I want a total life change, my step son still hasn’t moved out of the house, my step daughter is having living drama with her roommate, my sister still isn’t speaking to me… we don’t covet drama at all, it just seems to find us.

11. What is a song they need to stop playing on the radio? Hip hop is total bologna lately, I don’t know why. I’m a fan of the format, but lately I haven’t found any new songs that I want to listen to. “Great Escape” by Gwen Stefani (pop, not hip hop, but it qualifies for this question) is WAY overplayed right now.

12. Are you content with life right now? For the most part, I am easy to keep content. Calvin is the high-maintenance one. I do wish we could make significant progress toward our goals, though.

13. Does anyone like you? It’s funny, I was just thinking about the friends I used to have last year that have since shunned me, for their own reasons. I’m a good person and a good friend, but for some reason there have been notable occasions in my life where a friend has just gone all, “Fuck it, I don’t want to be friends with you anymore.” Which is weird, because I would never dream of abandoning a friend, even if they were pissing me off. It just brings the REAL friends I have in my life to the forefront and makes me appreciate them all the more. (Heather, Jen, Ann Marie, Archibael, Dawn, my friend Kim in Maine, plus the on-line friends that I haven’t met in “real life” yet… Amanda and Sherry and Robyn and Crystal and Jayne (who doesn’t have a website anymore and I miss it!) and Dana and Morag and JenFu and fifty-seven other OLJ-ers whom I hope won’t be insulted because I didn’t mention them…)

14. What is your current obsession? Money, and the acquisition thereof.

15. Do you have your license? To drive? Yes. To do anything else that requires a license? No.

16. Ever been kissed under mistletoe? Yes, trite as that sounds.

17. Would you ever smile at a stranger? If I make eye contact, I always offer at least a polite smile.

18. Ever done a random act of kindness? I try to do a little something kindly random every day.

19. Do your toenails have nail polish on them? Not at the moment. I am in dire need of a pedicure. See # 5 and # 7 for the total picture.

20. When is the last time you wore eyeliner? A couple of weekends ago when Calvin and I went out for our anniversary. Usually I don’t like to wear it because I end up rubbing my eyes and fucking it all up.

21. Last curse word you said was? See # 20.

22. Are your lips chapped? No, they are nice and soft and Calvin-kissable.

23. Are you currently jealous? Not at all.

24. Do you own an iPod? I am currently convinced that life without my iPod would not be a life worth living.

25. Did you have a dream last night? I dreamed, but I don’t remember what it was.

26. Are you mad at anyone? My sister on general principles. The aforementioned friends that are shunning me (but only when I think about it). My stepson occasionally when he ignores his chores.

27. Who is the most random person you know? Okay, I have to leave Avitable’s answer here: “Platypus with a side of potato nipples.”

28. What’s going on this weekend? More moving of our shit belongings into storage.

29. Done any spring cleaning lately? It’s July.

30. Anything bothering you? Many things bother me, none of which I feel like expounding upon at the moment.

32. Did you wish for anything last night on 11:11? Heh, Marie got me started on this when she was really little. I was asleep last night at 11:11, though.

33. Do you drink coffee on a regular basis? Every blessed morning. And sometimes in the afternoon. Always with dessert at restaurants.

34. Do you wish you were someone else? No, I just wish to improve upon the me that I am right now.

35. What jewelry are you wearing? Just my wedding ring.

36. Ate any exotic food lately? We ate a lot of raw things in Maine… steak and tuna tartar. Nothing exotic about the steak and tuna noodles and spaghetti and burgers and meatloaf and chicken that have graced our menus lately.

38. Are you easily amused? My sense of humor is losing more and more sophistication the longer I hang out with Calvin.

39. Can you lick your elbow? No, I have Calvin to do that should the need arise.

40. Do you know this song, “we stay fly no lie you know this”? Um, no. But I do know all the words to C&C Music Factory’s “Sweat”.

41. What piercings do you have? Three in one ear, two in the other, and my navel. All of which I haven’t actually worn anything in for quite some time, now.

42. Do you have a crush right now? I really like that cute kid from the Mac commercials. Justin Long.

43. What are your plans over the summer? To stay out of the heat as much as humanly possible. Also, we’re going to Oregon next week.

44. How’s life going for you? At the moment, tediously. Hence, this survey.

45. What is on your mind just this second? The movie “Casual Sex” is currently boggling my mind. It’s devastating in its 80’s-ness. I also wonder why I love every kind of seafood but I don’t like oysters on the half-shell.