Archive for the ‘TV’ Category

For Our Future Reference

Posted: December 14, 2010 in TV
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Avoiding

Posted: June 10, 2010 in books, TV, vacation
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I am avoiding life right now. Like, on purpose. I shall look back upon this first week of my sabbatical as one in which I did very little in the way of useful things, and a whole lotta reading. A WHOLE lotta reading. I read this (hey Jen, it was the most decent one in a long time!), and I read this and this and this (and I am SO SAD that the author can’t get a contract from her publisher for the next one in the series), and I read this, and I read this and this and this.

At the moment I’m all read out. But oh, what mind-numbing bliss it has been for the past handful of days. There was absolutely nothing improving about my choice of literature AT ALL – I probably killed more brain cells than if I’d smoked a bale of pot – and I’m just plain FINE with that. Bill is concerned that I’m going to be this slothful for my entire sabbatical, then look back upon it at the end and feel that I’ve wasted all of my time off. To be sure, if I did spend the entire eight weeks reading my eyeballs out, I would feel that way. But I’ve reached the natural stopping point in my desire to read, so tomorrow I’ll be motivated to get some shit done.

Tonight, I’ve got some DVR’ed episodes of non-Bill-friendly television to watch (Medium, Stargate Universe, and the season finale of Grey’s Anatomy in which I already know what happens because I’m a spoiler whore). He’s up north for an overnighter in Tuba City. I had the option to go, but… um, yeah. No. I mean, it’s Tuba City. Ain’t NUTHIN’ going on up there. So, he’ll be back tomorrow and by the time he rolls in I hope to have the house cleaned and the oil changed in the truck, at the very least.

I skipped my workout today, but I’ll just work out on my “scheduled” day off, which is Sunday, to make up for it. Since April 4th, I’ve only missed five scheduled workouts in my six-day-a-week routine. I’d probably be doing better if I’d pay more attention to what I stuff in my pie-hole (shut up, Bill), but I consider it a success that I have FINALLY, somehow, managed to prioritize exercise in my life. There are muscles coming in, by gawd! I might actually WIN a future roughhousing wrestling match with my husband, one of these days.

Heh. It’s not like I don’t come out on top as things stand today. He is SO the Kelso to my Hyde.

It seems to me that Pandora’s Pop/Rock station only wants to play Sting/The Police, and The Beatles. All well and good for the first two songs, but really. I’m so over it. The Classic Rock station features Led Zeppelin heavily, though, so, win.

It bugs me when folks type “wholly crap” instead of “holy crap”. I mean, I guess it could apply if whatever is being referred to consists entirely of crap. And I guess if a person has a moral reason to not refer to crap as something which springs from His Heavenly Father… except, if you follow that line of reasoning to its logical conclusion, crap DOES spring from His Heavenly Father because He made All Things… hmm. If one is full of crap they in fact are full of Holy Spirit?

Perhaps I am going to hell.

Speaking of reverence (sorta), Bill and I watched the miniseries finale of The Pacific last night, and we were sorry to see the series end. What an outstanding effort. Watching it created in me a deep sense of awe-tinged respect that is generally reserved for the religious. The mind can’t comprehend what those soldiers had to do, and how deeply traumatized they had to be after witnessing all that they did. There’s a special kind of respect that is reserved only for their kind.

We bought one of these this weekend, and I have spent (and will continue to spend) an indecent amount of time transferring files, loading programs, and getting used to Windows 7. I am currently set up at the kitchen table with this laptop at the head (or foot? I don’t think we’ve ever decided which is which) and my work laptop open and running at the seat to my right. Remember waaaaaaay back when, when we all made the switch from typewriters to word processors? Yeah. It’s like that. I am loathe to do anything at all on my work laptop now (and it will soon be denuded of all but the essential AcronymCo programs).

A problem that I will have for exactly thirteen more working days. Then I’ll ignore my work laptop until August, and let me say, that thought alone completely fascinates me.

I am stupidly amused by the fact that the dogs don’t want to do their business in the grass in the back yard anymore. The landscaper switches the time that the sprinklers come on, seemingly every week. So now the dogs have no idea when they’re going to go off, and as a result stick to dookying in the rocks. MUCH easier to pick up, that way. It’s the little things, people. I just wish I had been looking out the window when the sprinklers went off for the first time after being idle all winter. Bet it was hysterical.

Two folks are coming over today to give me a quote on a roof replacement, and one more is scheduled for tomorrow. In somewhat related news, we have made 65% progress to date against our debt payoff goal for the year. Now it’s just a matter of keeping our heads down (and our impulse buying to a minimum) and we might actually make it, b’gawd. We’re only halfway through the year, though, so I’m reserving optimism. We have two trips to get past, and anything can happen between now and December. But I’m pretty pleased at our progress thus far.

So. Yeah. Just keeping our heads down, and I’m trying to get to the beginning of Sabbatical without losing my mind. Which is why posts have been and may continue to be a bit sporadic or moody for a couple of more weeks. Hang in there! I’m trying to, at least.

Hi, gang! I think I’ve got my sanity back! Let’s hear it for ME!

Readers: “Yaaaaaaaay! Let’s see how long it lasts this time!”
Tiff: “Hush, you.”

So. Backing up to last Friday, after I left work I stopped at the grocery store for some Olympics-viewing necessities. Then Bill and I ran to Chili’s to sit at the bar and sip beverages while waiting for them to process our to-go order of baby back ribs. We got back just before the opening ceremony coverage began (6:30 our time), settled in with our plates and our beer, and prepared to fall in love with Canada all over again.

The falling in love with Canada thing happened, to be sure (we’ve always loved Canada and I would LOVE to move there – alas, I doubt it’s in the cards and they’re trying to keep out the American riff-raff, anyway). But I do NOT love NBC’s coverage of the Olympics. Hi, Arizona is currently ONE HOUR BEHIND British Columbia in time zones, yet we are on an extensive TIME DELAY when it comes to coverage of the Olympic events. That really pisses me off. I mean, according to NBCOlympics.com, an event could be happening LIVE RIGHT NOW, but I don’t get to see it until prime time? And then in an abbreviated, summary-type highlights fashion? EPIC FAIL, NBC! EPIC FAIL.

Phooey.

Anyway, we loved the opening ceremonies, flaws and mechanical failures and all. I was stoked to see good ol’ Stevie Nash representing Arizona and the Suns as well as his native Canada. And… yeah, who was surprised by the whole Wayne Gretzky thing? Anyone? Bueller? My favorite parts of the opening ceremonies were the whales “swimming” and “blowing” through the arena, and the circus boy who was harnessed and flying over the grassy plains.

Saturday I got up at a decent hour and basically futzed around until 3:00, when it was time to get ready to go organize Joss’ benefit party. I fielded multiple phone calls from the bar owner and the other lady who was helping organize things – up to and including when I was three minutes away, on the road and driving to the bar. I got started setting up the raffle table, laying out all the items, and taping the fliers I’d made describing each item to the wall behind the raffle table. My helper and I made a trek to another nearby bar, whose owner had a helium tank that she let us use to blow up a bunch of pink balloons. Hilarity ensued. I sang “We are Siamese if you please…” and “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…” and sounded like Theodore Chipmunk. The bands showed up right at 5:00 to start setting up, and by about 6:00 everything was ready to go.

I ran back home to pick Bill up and bring him back to the bar, and had a few minutes to relax before people started showing up. From about 6:30 until about 10:30 I was stationed behind the raffle table, accepting money for raffle tickets and 50/50 tickets, and straight cash donations. My helper, another girl who frequents the bar, and even Bill, spelled me a few times for potty breaks. I used our new video camera a few times to capture scenes of the party, which I will post at some point this week (probably).

We had a really great turn-out, with lots of folks sticking to the beverages and entrees that were marked as proceeds going 100% to Joss. The acoustic guy that opened was awesome and had folks singing along, then the band that followed provided the energy to get us through the night. Folks were very generous and I had the satisfaction of handing Joss a fat envelope at the end of the night. The bar owner is still tallying up the proceeds from the food and beverages, I hope to find out today how it all worked out but he said it was a good amount.

Bill and Robert did their level best to support the proceeds and drank $4 Kiltlifters all night, so that by the time I finally convinced them to leave at about midnight, I forced Robert to get in our truck so I could drive him home, and Bill was giggling like a maniac for the whole drive. Bill stumbled off to bed right away, and I grabbed a quick sandwich (didn’t get to have dinner) before joining him.

Sunday was Valentine’s Day, and I got Bill a card from Vixen’s Empire. Plus his obligatory annual Valentine’s letter, and a bottle of Curve. Amanda got a box of chocolates and a Snoopy card – homage to her childhood that she appreciated. The three of us got ready and went out for some burgers, then went to see Avatar in 3D. Bill scoffingly figured he’d just sleep through the whole thing, then discovered himself riveted right along with the rest of us. What a visually stunning movie. I loved it and will probably buy it. I will not, however, become suicidal and depressed and despairing that life isn’t as beautiful on Earth as it is on Pandora. Feh.

(Jaysus. Google “Avatar” and “depression” and see what comes up. Sheeeeeesh.)

Yesterday I did some work for Beyond Megapixels, but primarily just held the couch down and ate unhealthily and watched the Olympics. My boy from Maine, Seth Wescott, won gold in Men’s Snowboard Cross, and I felt happy for Shen and Zhao that they won the gold, finally. Though I do think that their Chinese countrymen, Pang and Tong, skated their long program better. I cheered just as loud as any Canadian as Alexandre Bilodeau accepted his gold medal for Men’s Moguls. Indeed, for every event we watch, we’re cheering for the Canadian participants every bit as enthusiastically as we’re cheering for Team USA.

And now it’s Tuesday, and I’m back at work, and there’s 101 days, six hours left until my sabbatical.

Well, I have officially “come out” on all the sites that I contribute to – Beyond Megapixels and UpTake were the last, this morning. And yet, when I Google myself (come on, you know you do it too) it’s still hard to track down the “real” me. So I’m guessing that my ex will still find it difficult to stalk me. If he’s so inclined. I heard from him last August, so I’ve got at least another eight or nine months to go before his regularly scheduled craziness. At which time, if he HAS found me on the internets, he’ll most definitely mention it, in a way in which HE intends to be cutting and hurtful, but will only end up amusing me.

I’m actually a little bit sad that I’m completely letting go of the “Laura Charon” persona. It was, in majority, a tribute to my Grandmother, that I used that name. Ah well, I’m just giving up my secret identity, not my Grammy’s memory!

We watched parts of The People’s Choice awards last night. Is it me, or does it seem that Johnny Depp doesn’t know which accent to speak in, when he’s not playing a character? He enunciates in a Brittish-ly fussy way, but without the actual accent. It’s off-putting. Also, Ryan Reynolds is super duper oh my god hot. And the shrieking eels were out in full force when Team Jacob won for best breakout actor. Should have gone to Chris Pine, IMHO. Finally, I continue to love the hell outta Cloris Leachman. And that’s all I have to say about that.

Bill is up in Tuba City overnight (you wish you had is glamorous life!!!), so this evening will be occupied with working out, some on-line work, and eating leftover Chinese food prior to Taoist Biker’s radio show. I like to keep busy when Bill’s away.

———-
Positive: I have “Let’s Stay Together” stuck in my head, and it’s really not making me unhappy. “Loving you whether… whether… times are good or bad, happy or sad…”

Productive: I’ve got a big ol’ analysis due today at AcronymCo, which is where most of my time today will be spent.

Plan: I’m going to do some yardwork this weekend, and force myself out into the sunlight. I’ve been trying to get some sun for at least a few minutes every day – it’s been hit and miss, really.

I’ve seen this going around (the latest from Crisitunity), so I figured, eh, what the heck.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

Took a 3,026 mile road trip to Wyoming (by way of Utah and Idaho, guest starring Colorado).

Started writing professionally.

Got paid to take pictures.

I started blogging under my real name.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn’t make any resolutions last year! I’m not making any resolutions this year! It’s very liberating.

3. How did you spend New Year’s Eve?

Vodka = ow.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No, thank goodness!

5. What countries did you visit?

My own. Hopefully by this time next year I’ll be able to say, “Canada!”

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

50% less unsecured debt.

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

November 14th. Bill and I had a fight that was monumentally awful at the time, but the after-effects caused us to re-evaluate how we treat one another and I believe we came out the other side stronger than we were before.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Going professional with my writing and photography. I’m particularly proud of the latter.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not having the handle on our debt that I wanted to have by the end of the year. I’m hoping this year will be better!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I had a long and sucky bout with plantar faciitis early on in the year. And I had a cold or some such thing that prevented me from being there for Oliver’s birth.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

The leather jacket Bill picked out for me in Cody, Wyoming. Also, Moto GP tickets.

12. Where did most of your money go?

The mortgage, followed closely by the credit cards.

13. What song will always remind you of 2009?

It’s a toss-up between these two (really, the whole Voices album):

14. What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I’d stayed in touch with my friends better. Written letters, made phone calls, and let them know I was thinking of them.

15. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Being depressed and anxious and sleeping a lot because of it and being lazy and sitting on my fat ass getting fatter.

16. What was your favourite TV program?

Big Bang Theory, Bones, Supernatural, Castle, Fringe, Criminal Minds, Californication (more or less in order)

17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Don’t hate anybody!

18. What was the best book you read?

The Charlaine Harris “Sookie” series (True Blood), and Patricia Briggs’ “Mercy” series.

19. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Intervision. (Website has sound.)

20. What was your favorite film of this year?

Star Trek!!!!!

21. What did you do on your birthday?

Bill and I cooked a steak dinner together, and I made THE Pie(tm).

22. What kept you sane?

I don’t think anything did. I think I’m just now starting to realize just how BAD 2009 was, mentally speaking.

23. Who did you miss?

Grandma, Heather (though I got to see her!), and the grandbabies.

24. Who was the best new person you met?

I don’t think that I really made any new friends (IRL) in ’09. Lots of fun folks at Sandstone, I guess, but the “old” people I know are still the nearest and dearest to my heart!

25. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:

To let go of the things I can’t control and just believe that everything will work out in the end.

———-
Today’s 3P:

Positive: I did get to Trader Joe’s yesterday, and I’m having a truly yummy breakfast of TJ’s nonfat vanilla yogurt with TJ’s lowfat mixed berry granola. I love breakfast.

Productive: Dig up my bike lock and pump up the tires on my bike – I want to start riding my bike to work some day soon.

Plan: Put together a writing schedule for the next week.

beeI just posted on Twitter, “Hmm. I’m on “vacation” and yet I have just come to the conclusion that I have done enough work for today. Ponder. Discuss.”

My days are every bit as busy as they would have been if I were at AcronymCo this week – since I didn’t take a vacation from my other THREE jobs (eep), this week is more about catching up on all of my other stuff, than slouching around napping and reading and whatnot.

Not that I’m complaining (no, not really!), since I enjoy the other stuff. And, what else would I be doing with my days, anyway? I like to be productive. It keeps the depression and anxiety at bay.

Calvin is gone for the week – got called down to Tucson (I always always ALWAYS want to put the “s” before the “c”) this morning and will be there until Friday. So, on the one hand, lonely. On the other hand, looooots of “free” time on my hands to get shit done. Not that he “takes up” a lot of my time, per say – just that I’d rather be doing him than doing anything else. And all that statement implies.

I got up bright(ish) and early(ish) to get a start on things – I’ve gotta say, I’m feeling rather accomplished:

– I finally got the domain set up and “turned on” for Sandstone’s website – go check it out and let me know what you think!
– I posted the pictures from the Four Peaks Beer Event that I did the photography for back on Sunday night, and I also wrote up the Staff Bios.
– I added a bunch of e-mail addresses to Sandstone’s Google Group and sent out an update.
– I edited a handful of pictures that I took when we were just hanging out at the bar back on the 2nd. I was getting used to the lens.
– I wrote a guest post for Beyond Megapixels – my editor will submit it to another photography website. Once I know where it’s landing I’ll update you guys – it’s one I’m rather proud of.
– I wrote an entry about Scott Kelby’s latest digital photography book, which will be publishing on Beyond Megapixels tomorrow morning at 8:00 a.m. (my time).
– I took Marie’s pit bull for a walk down to the edge of the neighborhood and back.
– I watched one episode of Supernatural and two episodes of House.
– I soaked and fed worms to both of the beardies.
– I ate a salad, and also some crackers with Trader Joe’s spicy hummus dip.

Tonight, though I still feel like I should keep hammering away at all the writing I need to do, I’m going to call work “done”. I’ve got the series premier of “Stargate Universe” waiting for me on the DVR, and an episode of “Medium”. I’ve officially (after only one episode each) given up on “The Forgotten”, “Mercy”, “Trauma”, and “Flash Forward” (I actually just read the book, so now I’m all “Eh, I know what happens”). I watched the first episode of “Three Rivers” and plan to keep going with it – it made me cry, so there’s gotta be some good there. So! My TV watching schedule isn’t as insane as I originally feared it would be.

I also plan on getting caught up on everyone’s websites – sorry I’ve been quiet on the comments, lately. Still love you all to pieces!!!

Yeah, gotta clean the kitchen first, though. No rest for the wicked! (whine whine whine whine…)

calvintvThree hours to go. I worked through lunch so I’m leaving at 4:00. Tomorrow will be a bullshit day – always is, the day before a long weekend. Then Monday off, working from home on Tuesday, and a short week after that.

I don’t feel like being at work AT ALL today. For no particular reason other than I’ve cleared my desk of anything urgent (for the moment), I have several entries in mind that I’d like to be writing for UpTake and Beyond Megapixels, and dunnit just suck when you’re stuck at work and feel like you’d be more productive elsewhere?

Calvin has gone up north for an overnighter, so I have the house to myself tonight. That means No Cooking. I’ve already warned Marie, she’s good at fending, and I have leftover meatloaf – WHICH I made with ground bison and ground turkey and it turned out AWESOME – calling my name. To be sure, I’ve been slacking off on the whole cooking thing lately, so who am I to bitch? Yeah, I’m me, which means bitchin’ comes with the territory. You’re welcome. I feel the cooking itch starting up again, though, and with the onset of cooler weather (GEE, 97 and rainy expected for this weekend, BREAK OUT THE EARMUFFS), I’m sure I’ll be puttering away in the kitchen again soon.

I really, really want to call Heather right now, but she’s at work and I’m at work and I tend to drop the F-bomb a lot (for no particular reason) when I get on the phone with friends, which would offend sensitive ears (not Heather’s), so I have to wait until I get home. The Plan is to get into my jammies, yack with her (if she’s available) while I deal with the animals and “night chores”, get my laptop set up on the desk in the bedroom, write for a couple of hours, then call into Taoist Biker’s Radio Show. Which will involve more yacking, after which I shall watch the DVR’ed episodes of Warehouse 13 (camp-o-licious!) that I have awaiting me on the TV in the bedroom.

Speaking of which, the fall season is nearly upon us, thank the good lord. Here’s my lineup for this year, because you’re totally interested. Admit it. Brand new shows are bolded – those are the ones I’m going to try out, and make a final decision on if they make the “cut” after a few episodes.

September 8
Sons of Anarchy (FX), 10:00 PM/ET

September 10
Supernatural (The CW), 9:00 PM/ET (The boys are back in town. See also: SQUEE!)

September 17
Bones (Fox), 8:00 PM/ET (I love this show more with every passing season.)
Fringe (Fox), 9:00 PM/ET (Leonard Nemoy cliffhanger goodness!)
Community (NBC) 9:30 PM/ET

September 21
House [2 hour premiere] (Fox), 8:00 PM/ET
How I Met Your Mother (CBS), 8:00 PM/ET
Two and a Half Men (CBS), 9:00 PM/ET
The Big Bang Theory (CBS), 9:30 PM/ET
Castle (ABC), 10:00 PM/ET (SO happy it got picked up again!)

September 22
The Forgotten (ABC), 10:00 PM/ET (Christian Slater is back! He so got the fuzzy end of the lollipop with the cancellation of My Own Worst Enemy.)

September 23
Mercy (NBC), 8:00 PM/ET (One of at least THREE new medical dramas this year – I suspect this may get cut.)
Criminal Minds (CBS), 9:00 PM/ET
Modern Family (ABC), 9:00 PM/ET

September 24
Flash Forward (ABC), 8:00 PM/ET (AWESOME premise.)
Grey’s Anatomy (ABC), 9:00 PM/ET
CSI (CBS), 9:00 PM/ET

September 25
Medium (CBS), 9:00 PM/ET

September 27
Californication (Showtime), 10:00 PM/ET

September 28
Trauma (NBC), 9:00 PM/ET (Med drama #2!)

October 4
Three Rivers (CBS), 9:00 PM/ET (Med drama #3! I suspect I’ll keep this one, though, because it stars That Really Hot Guy from the mournfully-cancelled Moonlight.)

November 3
V (ABC), 8:00 PM/ET (Very excited about this one)

I’m already watching Defying Gravity (it’s not bad), Merlin wrapped up for the year, Leverage wraps up next week, True Blood wraps up in two weeks, and I think last week was the finale for Penn and Teller’s Bullsh!t for this year. My beloved Three Sheets continues apace. Warehouse 13 has got to be wrapping up soon, too (started off WAY campy, but is improving). Of all the shows that I watched last year that are continuing this year, I’ve only completely given up on Private Practice – it totally jumped the shark at the end of last season, if you ask me. Well, Grey’s did too, but I still love ’em.

Holy crap on a cracker, I’m starting to think it’s a good thing we put a DVR in the bedroom to supplement the one we already had in the living room. I take my television watching very seriously. BUT! There are nine potential cuts listed up there, so it may not be as bad as it looks. Again, those could be nine potential KEEPERS, too, in which case I am royally fucked.

The full list of fall premiers is here, by the way, in case I didn’t list a show you’re on the lookout for.

LucyKim and I have been IM-ing back and forth in Google today. I didn’t realize how much I use current and past pop culture references in my daily conversation until I met someone whose pop culture education is greatly different than mine.

(Spelling and grammar mistakes are forgiven in instant messaging conversation. It’s, like, a rule.)

Case #1:

(We’re discussing Maine, and I mention Bar Harbor…)

kim: i read “bah habah” with the accent!
me: Heh. So do I.
kim: (big stephen king fan)
me: Yes, i remember hearing that about you from somewhere… 😀
kim: my parents spent a summer up there not long before my dad passed away teaching at a golf camp and their first day off they went to bangor to take pictures of SK’s house for me!
me: The ultimate souvenier!
kim: god, i’d love to go there to visit
yes, i was more excited about that then the leather purse!
me: Kind of like Leonard Nemoy’s DNA for Sheldon.

My darling readers, spot the reference! Bonus points if you can find the scene on YouTube.

Case #2:

(We’re discussing the possibility of having a NoButtsCon:)

kim: i hate that all of us are so spread out when most of the time i like you guys more than my friends in real life
me: I was just lamenting and observing to Calvin that some of my best, closest friends are the ones I’ve never met in person
kim: haha, good words! but yes, it’s gotten to that point for me too
it’s like you almost know when you find “your people”
me: “kindred spirits”, to adopt an Anne-ism
kim: which is so weird – how i found you was through reading weetabix – i can’t remember, but i think she linked your name in an entry
do you know her IRL?
me: Love the Weet.
Nope, never met her!
kim: i love her too and would LOVE to go to one of the weetacons!
me: I know. They’re Legen(wait for it)dary

That one’s an easy one. But you begin to see how much of the way I express myself is couched in terms that are only understood if you watch the same exact television shows I do. It’s a wonder I’m understood at all.

Case #3:

(Now I’m starting to become concerned for lack in Kim’s television viewing life… so much she has missed… here we’re talking about How I Met Your Mother):

me: The main protagonist (Ted) is kind of lame – I watch for NPH and Lilly (Alyson Hannigan – gotta get me a Willow fix!)
(PLEASE tell me you watched Buffy)
kim: um…
BUT I KNOW WILLOW!!!
me: fortheloveof…
kim: hahahaha
i know – what kind of friggin geek am i?
me: It’s like we don’t even speak the same language. 😛
kim: i am saddened by this
me: I, too.

At this point I’m almost speechless and stricken nearly paralyzed by the overpowering need to FIX KIM, FIX KIM NOW.

Case #4:

(In which I try to rectify the situation:)

me: First. GET THEE HENCE and rent Season One of Buffy. It’s campy (it gets better as the seasons go on) but the dialogue is SO FRICKING GOOD
Also, watch S1 of Big Bang
every other priority in your life can wait.

(We talk about how we’re better than our sisters for a few exchanges, then…)

kim: but i love culty things – i would’ve watched Carnivale until the end of time if it wouldn’t have gone off the air
me: Firefly? Serenity? Anything Joss related?
kim: nope
but i know of it all
me: GEEZ, woman. Okay, scratch all of the above. Rent Firefly – there was only one season. Then watch Serenity. THEN watch Big Bang, and Buffy.
kim: i think my problem is that i read too damn much when i should be watching tv
me: Ha! The opposite of what our parents used to say.
kim: really?? i thought buffy was the originator
me: Buffy and Firefly have nothing to do with each other, other than that they were both created by Joss Wheden.
kim: ohhh
me: Firefly is more appealing to grown-ups
kim: didn’t buffy have a spinoff though?
me: Yes. Angel.
kim: yes, the dude, right?
me: David Boreanaz = NOM
He’s on Bones now
kim: omg, i must go get my yogurt out of the fridge – this is THE WORST TIME OF DAY FOR ME FOR BEING HUNGRAY!
oh yeah, hot dude!
i’ll brb
me: “Kim is AFK.” (And if she’d been watching Big Bang Theory that would be funny to her.)

Oh, the horror. I mean, the sheer lack of anything Joss in her life is enough to bring me to tears. The dialogue she is missing! The opportunities to adopt lines as her own and throw them into conversations in a pithy and witty way! She’s never asked anyone, “What’s your childhood trauma?” She’s never told anyone, “I aim to misbehave.” She’s never had the occasion to say, “”I bet you’d let a girl go off to her doom all by herself,” or, “”I laugh in the face of danger! Then I hide until it goes away.” She doesn’t understand why, “”We will rule over all this land, and we will call it… ‘This Land’,” is funny. She doesn’t understand why a man named Jayne gave me faith in sidekicks again. She doesn’t know that you can’t stop the signal. For the LOVE OF GOD, she doesn’t even know who the Scooby Gang is (hint: there are no dogs).

For these reasons I am hereby embarking on a Save Kim campaign.

savekim

Kim’s Pop Culture Princess Primer:

1. Watch Firefly first. There is only one season because of the Cancellations Nazis. First, it’s appealing to adults – or more-so than, say, Buffy. Second, it’ll get you used to the cadence of Joss-style dialogue (aka Whedonesque). Third, Nathan Fillion is hot.

2. Watch Serenity, the “Firefly” movie spinoff. It makes more sense to watch the shows first, and then the movie, though the movie is technically a stand-alone work.

3. Watch Season One of The Big Bang Theory next (Season Two is out, too). This will give you a much-needed influx of current pop culture into your dialogue. At the very least you can use this as a Laura-to-English translator in future instant-message discussions.

4. Next, start on Buffy with Season One (one day I’m going to own that collectors set). There are seven season to get through, so while you’re getting caught up in all the Jossy vampirey goodness, you can take breaks to watch other, current television shows. How I Met Your Mother is good if only for Neil Patrick Harris. Two and a Half Men also comes highly recommended – watch to see just how much they can get away with before the censors crack down on them (seriously, as the seasons go on they get away with more and more, until even CALVIN is left gasping and saying, “I can’t believe they got away with saying that!”)! Also, once you’re caught up and watching current episodes on TV, don’t forget to be on the lookout for Chuck Lorre’s vanity cards, which are displayed for, like, 1.3 microseconds after the airing of each episide of BBT and 2 1/2 Men. They’re always a treat.

4b. It’s optional to watch Angel, as this show didn’t infiltrate the pop culture scene as much as Buffy did. As David Boreanaz is MAD eye candy, you may want to watch at least the first couple of seasons for that fact alone.

5. PLEASE GOD, Kim, tell me you’re watching True Blood or reading Charlaine Harris???

This primer is the merest tip of the iceburg toward Total Pop Culture Princess status. I have every confidence that Kim will breeze through these requirements with the greatest of ease, and will be gracing us with dialogue gems in no time whatsoever.

Now. I end this entry on one final note – if you don’t know why the water tower image is funny and impossibly appropriate for this entry’s subject matter, I’m not sure I can be friends with you. It is the ULTIMATE in pop culture references. Come on, babies, make mama proud.

(Kim, you know I’m teasing you. I just had WAY too much fun chatting with you today. Feel free to smack me. You know I clock ’em that way.)

(And here’s the song that goes with THAT reference. Dear God, it’s like I don’t even speak straight English anymore.)