Bad. Kitty.

Posted: December 22, 2010 in Bring the funny, Holiday, pets
Tags: ,

I finished wrapping presents last night. I’d been storing them in the workout room until they were wrapped, and probably would have left them in there until Christmas had I not been claimed by an unanticipated and unwelcome motivation to exercise. So, in order to clear the weight bench and the floor, I moved the presents out onto the pool table. I figured they’d be safe enough there until the Grand Paper Tearing Extravaganza of Saturday afternoon.

I know you know where this is going.

I let the dogs in this morning – they’re so old, poor things, that the cold effects them more than it used to. I put them in their crate with the door open so they could lay in padded comfort, but still be able to venture over to their water bowl should they need a drink. I heard them shuffling around, the vinyl bottom of the pad making a rustling sound against the bottom of the crate.

Then the rustling got more enthusiastic… urgent, even. I hopped up, thinking that maybe Gypsy had gotten her foot caught between the bars – it’s happened before. I rounded the corner from the living room to the game room, and saw Ozzy digging at one of Bill’s presents in a SPECTACULAR, GLEEFUL fashion. I stood, flabbergasted, for a fraction of a second, then YELLED BLOODY BLUE MURDER at that asshole cat.

He took off like a bat outta hell, and now he’s glaring balefully from the safety of their litter closet.

I KNOW it’s my own fault for putting temptation in his reach, but he’s honestly never messed with the presents before. Oh, sure, sometimes there’d be gnaw-marks along the edges, or toothy impressions crimping the ribbons, but never outright destruction. Besides, Zoe is the one with the obsession for chewing on crinkly paper. I figured I’d have to defend the presents from her, really.

Obviously, you can tell how upset I am, since the fraction of a second AFTER I finished yelling bloody blue murder, I thought “Blog post!” and grabbed my camera. Heh.

  1. poet says:

    our’s do that all the time. no fancy ribbons or bows on gifts here, lucky to keep the paper on.;) Merry Christmas to you and yours’~

  2. Oregon Sunshine says:

    He must’ve been channeling our Merlin and Sloan. Merlin, we often call a “Cat-i-cuss”, with great emphasis on the “cuss” part. He does odd and destructive things randomly, not really because he’s trying to be naughty, but more like some wild, hair-brained idea just popped into his melted little brain. At least he has a reason and real excuse though. Being trapped in a car in 100+ degree heat and nearly dying before rescue does that to you.

    Sloan has no excuse. He loves to chew on ribbon, string and plastic. No idea why. Maybe he’s not getting enough chemicals in his diet.

    • Tiffany says:

      See, that’s EXACTLY what got into Ozzy, the “wild hair” thing. And he has no melted brain as an excuse. Maybe the kids got him high once? Heh.

      Zoe chews on ANYTHING crinkly, but she didn’t even get a chance to investigate the presents before Ozzy was all bad kitty and I locked ’em (the presents, not the cats) in the bedroom.

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