I let myself fall

Posted: December 3, 2010 in Bill, photography, Warm Fuzzy

I’m Bill-sick.

No, I’m not sick of Bill. And no, Bill is not sick.

I’m homesick… for Bill.

That probably makes no sense to you guys, whatsoever. I see him every morning and evening, and talk to him several times throughout the day. I just spent a long weekend with him, and we’re headed into another weekend a few short hours from now.

There was just… something about heading out the door today, yelling goodbye to him, starting up the car, backing out of the driveway… I paused in front of the house and looked at it for a minute. And was struck with an almost overwhelming urge to pull back into the driveway, run back in real quick, and grab one last kiss.

I didn’t. I wish I had. One should follow through with these kinds of impulses, when one experiences them.

We’ve been together for over twelve years, and he’s been a daily constant in my life for seventeen. We’ve had high, high ups; and pretty darned low down’s. Mostly, we’ve been cruising at a steady altitude. Which is wonderful, but it is also where complacence lies.

I don’t want to be complacent. I want us to thrill along to this love that we have, every moment of every day.

At the same time, I’m so grateful for the ability to be complacent, when it happens. To take things, just a little bit, for granted. There’s so much peace to be had, simply with the knowledge that I can just… let myself fall.

Neither one of us is perfect, but our imperfections, for the most part, compliment one another. Neither one of us tries all the time, but we each try when it counts, and that’s what matters. We’re not always as nice, as kind, to one another as we could and should be – but we’re better at loving each other than at anything else we know how to do in this life.

I’m lucky, and I know I’m lucky.

Heather took this picture of us.

Heather took this picture of us. And the thumbnail I opened this post with, come to think of it!

In Hawaii!

In Hawaii!

First trip home in '98.

First trip home in '98.

At Rula Bula.  Courtesy of Heather again!

At Rula Bula. Courtesy of Heather again!

Here's the full size of that thumbnail.

Here's the full size of that thumbnail.

Oh dear.

Oh dear.

In Maine in '07.

In Maine in '07.

House of Tricks in '07.

House of Tricks in '07.

Oh dear, again.

Oh dear, again.



  1. Kim says:

    I’ve experienced that feeling too – there are even times during the day I miss Brian even though I know it’s only been hours since I’ve seen him and not very long until I see him again. It makes me feel like a big ball of cheese, but it’s true.
    This was such a beautiful post.

  2. crisi-tunity says:

    I understand this fully and love that you feel this way. (I miss BF for most of the week.) So glad you found each other…

    Just as a note, I think your second “oh dear” photo is actually pretty terrific.

  3. That’s so sweet Tiffany. It’s such a wonderful thing to find real love.

  4. Marie says:

    Aghhhhh…that’s so cute I could just pee.

  5. Taoist Biker says:

    You guys are awesome. Enjoy the awesomeness. 🙂

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