Did ya ever reach into your bag for your pack of gum, find only two sticks left, and just shove ’em both in your mouth so you can throw the pack away?

Did ya ever throw out the last two inches of milk in the carton, even though it wasn’t sour yet, just because there was a brand-new, fresh, unopened carton just waiting to accompany your peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

Did ya ever put on a shirt for work, notice it had a stain on it, and just wear it anyway and hope nobody notices?

Did ya ever clean your house by shoving all of the clutter into a room that nobody’s supposed to go into, only to be asked to give a tour of your house?

Did ya ever wear flip flops knowing your feet look like victims of torture but go to the grocery store anyway?

Did ya ever catch yourself, halfway through a meal with friends, and realize you’ve been smacking your food really, really loud, and making grunting noises to boot?

Did ya ever get caught singing the wrong lyrics to a song, and give the excuse that you know they’re wrong but it’s funnier your way?

Did ya ever go to answer your cell phone and realize it’s someone else’s, using the same ring tone you used two years ago?

Yeah. Me too.

———-

Yesterday was my cardiologist appointment for an echocardiogram. I was in and out in fifteen minutes and in that time I showed a stranger my boobs, and saw all four chambers of my heart, and watched my valves open and close, and saw my aorta, and saw my liver. I told the tech not to bother looking for my gallbladder because it went on vacation and all I got was this stinkin’ scar. He didn’t even crack a smile. Tough room. Though I prefer to think he was distracted by my magnificent breasts. Hey, the average age of the other folks sitting in the waiting room was 65. I’m betting mine was the nicest rack he’s seen all week.

When he was done the tech gave me one little tissue with which to wipe all the GOOP off of me. I raided his stash of paper towels – in the end, it took eight.

I have a follow-up appointment on the 18th to get the results. The pain in my chest has been less, thanks to Aleve, though every now and then it rises up to smite me. I got a total stab in the chest the other day while talking to my boss in his cubicle, and as I gasped and bent over double he said, “Hey now, no dying on company time!” I assured him I shall strive to be a good Corporate Citizen.

The doc says I might need surgery to fix the problem – they do it with a teeny laser and zap something the size of a single cell, and voila! All better. Still, the thought of them going at my heart with a laser gives me the shudders. Eef.

———-

Latest Really Cool Find on Ancestry.com – my great-grandfather’s WWI registration card.

———-

Looks like I’ll have to start my sabbatical on June 7th instead of May 31st. One of the guys in my group is going to be on his honeymoon over Memorial Day week and my boss wanted me to take that week of vacation (which is actually regular vacation time that I tacked onto the beginning of my sabbatical) in April instead. Bill is going to be in Chicago the week of April 26th so I’m going to take it then. I’ll either join him in Chicago and hang out while he’s in his training sessions, or just stay home and putter around the house. I guess it all depends on critter care, and airplane tickets, and whatnot.

———-

I hope this weekend’s plans to include a motorcycle ride to our Tequila And Taco Destination. Or the Chuckbox for their world-famous burgers. Either will do. It’ll have to happen tomorrow because it’s supposed to rain again (?!?) on Sunday. We’ve gotten twice as much rain since January 1st than we had in ALL of 2009. Craziness. I love it, though. If it weren’t for, you know, our leaky roof and stuff.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend!

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Comments
  1. crisitunity says:

    I could not BELIEVE how cool my echocardiogram was. Looking at my heart beating on that machine made by GE was one of the most fascinating moments of my life, I kid you not. It was kind of interesting to realize that these people would never be able to examine my heart when it wasn’t beating, because, you know, by then there wouldn’t be much point in determining what was wrong with me.

    You deliver the news of your delayed start to the sabbatical with remarkable aplomb. Are you really so calm about it? I would be hopping mad.

    • Tiffany says:

      It was very cool to watch, but also kind of creepy to me.

      It’s no big thing to take that week earlier – I actually still have the same amount of time off, just not consecutively. I was going to have nine consecutive weeks off but now in three weeks i’m going to have a week off, then work four weeks, then have eight weeks off, then work four weeks, then have five days off, then work until Thanksgiving, then have a week off, then work until Christmas, then have another week off… Tenure, she is a lovely thing!

  2. iamheatherjo says:

    I always chew two pieces of gum. I wouldn’t toss out the last inch or two of milk unless it was past the date (even if it was still good). No one uses the same ringtones as I do. 😀

    Just recently had my “well woman exam” and I received a compliment from the RN about my breasts. Uncomfortable.

    I’m going to have to check with Lea but I think Rob had the surgery you’re wirting about. I’ll send her the link to your diagnosis to be sure, but if it is the same he went in not realizing just how crappy he had felt and went out feeling so much better instantly.

    It’s hard to be mad about putting off your sabbatical when…you know…you GET a sabbatical. It’s good you weren’t flying off anywhere that very day or anything.

    You’re thinking about coming out in April with Bill?!?!?! 😀

    • Tiffany says:

      You un-mold-not-fitter, you!

      I’ve gotten a compliment from my female OBGYN about, ah, the aesthetics of my nether regions. It was… odd.

      Thanks for checking, another kind lady commented on my initial OMG HEART BORKED post and said she had the procedure done with good results, too. The more info I have the less freaked I’ll be, I think. I’m just that way.

      Not mad about the delay in sabbatical, as I said to Crisitunity up there. And yes, I might be coming your way in a few weeks!!!! Depending on if I can get cheap flights, etc. It would be fly in on Monday fly out on Friday, hopefully we’d be able to at least do dinner or sumpin!

      • iamheatherjo says:

        I’ll let you know as soon as Lea answers me. I’m glad you’re getting positive feedback from others who have had the procedure.

        Personally, I’m more uncomfortable when Bill tells me about your nethers. Heehee… 😉

      • Taoist Biker says:

        Now I’m gonna be chuckling to myself for hours imagining those compliments. 😀

        My dad once called me out for moaning while I was eating breakfast – it was a Saturday after I’d worked 5 10.5 hour days and then went out with my girlfriend until midnight.

        Hope you get your ticker all fixed up soon!

  3. Shelli says:

    Um … yes, to all the questions.

    I would think that dying on company time would be most beneficial for your family (which is probably why your boss told you not to!). I mean, you do have a life insurance policy through work, right? And if something happens to you there, Bill can claim it was the stress of work that did you in, and they’d have to pay out! Ok, so my attempt at humor was a little morbid. 😉 I’m glad you’re getting the problem fixed, though. My Bill hates it when I double over with a chest pain … it’s so not cool.

  4. […] I don’t think I posted about it, but I got the all-clear from my doc about the heart thing. The scans were normal, the inflammation is gone, and the short PR interval is nothing to be […]

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