I was just conversing with a coworker. She says that she basically doesn’t tell her husband ANYTHING about her daily life. Things she’s done. Conversations she’s had. Money she’s spent. And she purposefully DOESN’T tell her husband a LOT of things. She says, and I quote, “There are just some things that aren’t any of his business.” And yet, when I asked her, she said that she considered their marriage to be very healthy and happy. And she seemed stunned that I didn’t immediately agree with her behavior. As if to say, “Keeping secrets is Relationship 101.”
I don’t get that. Not at all.
My vision of a good marriage pretty much makes it a NECESSITY that he know everything about me, and I know everything about him. There is NOTHING about me that Bill doesn’t already know, and vice-versa. And if there IS a story that hasn’t been told, it’s because he or I haven’t thought to tell it, yet. No specific and purposeful withholding of ANY information, ever. Hell, we OVER share with one another. Pretty much every thought, feeling, and emotion. Every action and reaction. Even when it sucks. Even when it’s guaranteed to prompt an argument. We’re all about the Full Disclosure. Sometimes brutal honesty IS brutal, but it’s also honest.
So, I just thought I’d throw that out there for conversation’s sake. How do you feel about keeping secrets from your significant other?