Flaaagm. Flaaahl. Feh.

Posted: May 8, 2009 in bitching, Drama, goals, Headspace

1iconwickedcoolOkay, I can breathe again.

Calvin and I went to the optometrist yesterday afternoon – I had a 4:15 appointment, he had a 4:45. He’s been needing new glasses for a while, and I’ve had to be all Squinty McSquinterson at the PC lately. Plus the OH SO ACCURATE eye exam during my physical revealed that my eyesight had deteriorated to 20/30, instead of the 20/20 I had enjoyed for the first 33+ years of my life.


So, I made the appointment. I did the peripheral vision exam, read the chart, stuck my face in the optics machine and answered the doc’s questions as he fiddled with lenses – “One, or two?” “Two.” “Three, or four?” “Three.” “Better, or worse?” “They look the same. Is that a trick question?” I had the topical anesthetic drops, and had my eyes poked. It’s funny how the doctor didn’t mention that he’d be actually TOUCHING my eyes (pressure test), though I knew what was going on from previous eye exam experience. He just said, “Focus on the blue light, and try not to blink.” I complimented him on his technique afterwards, telling him it was probably a good idea not to mention the whole TOUCHING thing so as not to freak people out. He said, “Most patients aren’t smart enough to even know the difference, but you are!”

Fast forward twenty minutes later, when I marvelled at the doc’s savvy to Calvin, and he was all, “He TOUCHED my EYES?!?”


Anyway. Turns out I still have 20/20 vision, but the doc gave me a very mild prescription to help with my focus issues. Calvin ended up needing a light progressive lens. We both picked out frames, and the final bill AFTER insurance deductions came to $685.00.

THAT’S when I stopped breathing.

We put $350 down, and the rest is to be paid in 7-10 days when we pick up our glasses. That, my friends, was a chunk of change I wasn’t anticipating on spending right at this very second. So I spent the next two hours doing mental math, and had a fun little anxiety attack. Which persisted until just about fifteen minutes ago, when I finished balancing the checkbook and came to the conclusion that yes, things are rather tight this month, but we’ll come out the other side of it with our goals still intact.

As usual, when it came to money, I flipped out over nothing. But, boy I tell ya, nothing ramps me up quicker than unanticipated expenditures. I mean, yeah, I knew we were getting eye exams, but in the 10+ years since I’ve bought glasses, things seem to have gotten FLIPPING expensive.

So, I’ve got to pay the other half of our glasses. Plus, Calvin’s got a dentist appointment next week and needs a crown replaced (poor guy), which will probably run us around $500. AND the lawn guy is coming to remedy our much-neglected back yard, which will be another $200. Man, when it rains, it pours.

But still! We’ll be okay. I don’t know why I always forget that, but it’s always true.

  1. crisitunity says:

    Yikes, I’m sorry about all them expenditures. It’s better to get yourself fixed than not, though. Also good to know your eyes haven’t deteriorated really at all.

    Our unexpected expenditure this month was the broken air conditioning, which BF thought would cost us less than $100 to fix. I tried to break it to him gently, but he was still shocked when the bill was over $600. I think he stopped breathing in the way you described here. I did not, being fully aware of how much HVAC people and plumbers and the like make per hour.

    Apparently optometrists too.

    • Laura says:

      Yipes, sorry about the A/C. Calvin’s in the HVAC business and I know them dudes can charge an ASSLOAD. Fortunately, his expertise keeps us from getting burned.

  2. Kim says:

    Having 20/70 vision myself (hey, wanna take a ride in a car with me when I’m driving but have forgotten my glasses?), I can sympathize with the uncomfortable and weird eye exams. But you mean to tell me you didn’t get the fun glaucoma test – the blast of air right to the eyeballs? The exam just isn’t complete without one of those! And yeah – I thought my insurance was good until I ended up paying almost $200 for my last exam and new glasses. Of course my glasses ARE bitchin’.

    • Laura says:

      Hey, I like living on the edge! I’ll even give you a couple of tequila shots before we drive off! No blast of air in the eyeballs – he has a test that replaces that, he says the air thing is for “amateaurs”. My optometrist is a snob!

  3. I have a similar focus problem that requires small correction, but my eyes aren’t really too bad. My wife is the one with the eye expenditures. The backyard is the thing that would get neglected here.

  4. farmwife says:

    Oh heck no — you only need the doctor for your actual prescription! I order all of our glasses through http://www.glassesusa.com or http://www.zennioptical.com

    They ship pretty quickly, and are WAYYYYY cheaper. I just ordered a pair for my daughter this week — designer frames with all the goodies for less than $80.

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