From Laments and Observations:
“He’d called shortly before I left work to let me know he might be a little late getting home, as his uncle and cousin got stuck out in the woods while turkey hunting and he was going to help them get out.
Jesus, if that’s not the most redneck sentence I’ve ever written in my life.”
From A Pile of Dog Bones:
“So what’s the difference between working moms and stay at home moms again? Oh right, working moms can’t necessarily drink on the job.”
“My addiction? Carbohydrates — the good ones, the bad ones, the ones that get up and dance on a stripper pole and shake their hooters in your face until you are just dying to give them every dime you’ve ever made.”
From What Was I Thinking?:
“The Universe gave me the biggest wedgie of my entire life!
I had to try twice ‘bounce’ back up the step before I could get…um…dislodged.
Well played, Universe. Well played.”
From N*ked on the Roof:
“10. It isn’t that kind of yeast.”
From All and Sundry:
“Even if you are curiously grabbing
while your father joyously yells
TUNE IN TOKYO! TUNE IN TOKYO!”