Sometimes life’s better with blurry vision.

Posted: March 14, 2009 in booze, Bring the funny, drrrrrunk, Friends, weekend

pennyrumIt’s 9:30 in the morning and here I am, sitting on the couch with my coffee, thinking about the KICK ASS jalapeno jack cheeseburger that I had at Jersey’s last night. Diets come and diets go, but cheeseburgers remain forever.

Hemmingway said that, I think. Or maybe it was Byron.

Our friend Bernard (who was at the bar throwing a last-night-before-the-end-of-leave bash for his son) introduced us to Tuaca, which could prove to be problematic. The last thing on this PLANET that we need is another favorite booze.

Eddie was there too, and Joss, and Phil, and it’s no wonder we spend more time at the bar than at home – the bar is more FUN.

The fact that we spent 3/4 of our weekend Mad Money on Friday night is notwithstanding.

So, yeah, I have a bit of a hangover this morning, though it’s not as bad as I thought it would be (or that I deserve) and is mostly gone now that I’ve had my coffee. Sometimes, after a build up of – and prolonged exposure to – stress, I go all, “fuck it!” and DUH-RINK. This past week at work was a stupid week. Friday afternoon rolled around, the boss left at 4:00, I left at 4:05, and arrived home to find Calvin taking a nap. Now, the opportunity to crawl into cool sheets and snuggle up against his back and doze for an hour is, no joke, one of my favorite passtimes. So, I did, and an hour later we got up, got ourselves together, and headed out to Jersey’s.

I sat at the table, the very tiny and sweet waitress came over, she asked us what we wanted to drink, and I made my, “fuck it!” decision right then and there. I proceeded to have a beer. And another beer. And the aforementioned cheeseburger. Then Joss bought us a shot (a bomber of some sort). And Bernard bought us another shot (Tuaca). And then we left and went to Darkhorse, where Joss works, and had ANOTHER beer and ANOTHER shot of Tuaca. And then we came home and watched this guy on the comedy channel (hi, NSFW):

He was hysterical, I don’t know why I’ve never heard of him before, and I’m kind of convinced that he’s really Johnny Depp in disguise.

Okay. Now Calvin’s up, too, and we need to get some yardwork done and get a rat for the snake. I’m making burritos (or maybe enchiladas) with the leftover roast for lunch. This fucking house is a fucking disaster and I shall clean the fuck out of it.

Watching edgy comedy makes me say “fuck” a lot.

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Comments
  1. boundandgags says:

    If you go all fuck watching comedians I’d advise you to never wander near one Billy Connolly. He’s a right and proper swearer, that bloke.

    I was watching Brand last night, too! He was a riot but it bleeps my bleeping bleep that comedy bleeping central bleeps bleeps from their bleeping shows.

    Sorry to sully your bleeping blog with my bleeping bleeps.

  2. Calvin says:

    I pay alot for cable I would like to get all the fucks and shits please.

    • Laura says:

      I know, it’s annoying. We PAY for cable, so it’s not like broadcast TV where they have to watch their shit. At least un-bleep the stuff if it’s after, say, 10:00 at night.

  3. iamheatherjo says:

    >>the bar is more FUN

    Well…duh! Hee!

    He needs a wireless microphone! Not quite getting the Johnny Depp thing, but okay! Illegitimate child of Freddie Mercury (during the times he decided to bang women) is what I’m getting. And? I had those boots once!

    I would like a burrito, please. Extra jalapenos. I’ll bring beverages. 😀

    • Calvin says:

      Here is a great idea in the name of art. A remake of the naked baby pic but now with the boots.

    • Laura says:

      I guess I just get the whole Captain Jack/Pirates of the Carribbean (I’m too lazy to look that up and I know I screwed up the spelling) vibe when I watch him.

      I LOVE THOSE FUCKIN’ BOOTS. And, how did I KNOW Calvin was going to post something like that? Heh.

  4. I saw this show and heard Brand on Howard Stern last week. He is a very interesting guy. Stern gets a bad reputation for all of the weird stuff he does, but he does have a way of getting these people in the studio and showing their real side and this Brand that you saw on TV seems like the real guy. I don’t know how big he’ll get here, but he does want to be here to stay.

    • Calvin says:

      I was heading back to Flagstaff last week and Howard had him on and I thought the same thing.
      Howard does an interview better that anyone if your willing to be honest.
      I hear this guy is huge in Europe and think he will do well here, he is different and it’s fun to hear him talk.

    • Laura says:

      All I know is that I’ll totally go see him if he ever comes here and does a show.

  5. Lana says:

    just for the record Russell has a BOOK and I know how you love yourself a good read 🙂

  6. Kim says:

    I learned about him a few months ago when he hosted the MTV movie awards or some shit. He seems pretty cool; has a reputation for being a pretty wild guy. I didn’t know he did comedy.

    Now I’m craving a cheeseburger.

    • Laura says:

      I’m ALWAYS craving a cheeseburger. And Calvin and I were just trying to think of a place to bike to next weekend – I’m thinking The Chuckbox in the Mill Avenue (ASU) district is in order. OH MY GOD, their cheeseburgers are the stuff of wet (mmm… ketchup) dreams. I shall take pictures, and we’ll add this to the list of places you want to visit when you come out (HINT).

  7. iamheatherjo says:

    It’s called Russell Brand’s Bookie Wook or something like that. He was also in that Forgetting Sarah Marshal movie.

    • boundandgags says:

      It is indeed called something like that: My Booky Wook: A Memoir of Sex, Drugs, and Stand-Up. He also has a couple of others: Articles of Faith and Irons in the Fire.

      I’m just hoping knowing he has more books doesn’t shove Calvin further down the list.

      I haven’t read them and have only seen a couple of his stand-up bits and a few radio spots but friends from England think he’s it.

  8. David says:

    Hi Laura, nice blog you’ve got here. And by golly you’ve been at it a while haven’t you? I like it here and I’m coming back. Yer on me blogroll now toots.

    Thanks a bunch for the Russell Brand vids. My peeps have been harping on me to watch this guy and now I see why. FLOL he is. What a unique style. Anyone else getting Eddie Izzard vibes from this guy? I do a little. But that’s OK.

    “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).” Eddie Izzard

    • Laura says:

      Anybody who calls me “toots” is a friend of mine! Thanks for stopping by. Erm, yes, I have gone on a bit here on the innernets, haven’t I? It’ll be nine years this September. I’m verbose, but not as much as some I could mention (:: cough :: TB :: cough ::).

      Russell Brand is now up there with some of my favorite comedians. We’re fortunate that we have a very active Improv here in town, so I’m hoping he’ll downsize his venue from the rockstar-esque theaters and stadiums he’s been doing. And yes, he does channel Eddie Izzard somewhat. Maybe that’s what I was picking up – a Jack Sparrow meets Eddie Izzard vibe.

  9. Taoist Biker says:

    If anybody’s getting Eddie vibes from him, I’ll have to give the vid a watch when I get home. Eddie is the man. In a dress, yet. (Though he was in full bloke-mode when we saw him last spring.)

    A colleague from out of town blew in on Friday evening to stay with some friends here, and he wanted to pick my brain for a bit. (My Hell Week last year? He’s in charge of Hell Week this year. Let’s put it that way.)

    He picked up the tab. I had Booker’s. ‘Nuff said. I didn’t know he was picking up the tab until after I ordered…I actually felt guilty about it.

    And last night, turkey burgers with pepper jack, cool local BBQ sauce (can’t go wrong with BBQ from a guy named Jimbo), and maple bacon. Want more! Diet be damned!

    • Laura says:

      Har, I was just commenting about you! Were your ears ringing?

      Seems we all love us our Eddie Izzard, yes? Perhaps we should work that into the name of our Con?

      Okay, wait. TURKEY burgers? Give up thine ManCard! Though it sounds like you slathered ’em with enough stuff to make ’em edible. Good god, Calvin would KILL ME UNTIL I WAS DEAD if I tried that move on him.

      • Taoist Biker says:

        Dys has been doing the ground turkey thing for years. It’s not so bad – add some crackers, an egg, some 57 Steak Sauce, grill for 15 minutes, it’s all good. 😀

  10. AmyD says:

    Now that sounds like the perfect weekend! I have got to try that Tuaca… it sounds really good.

    And, I am with you, if it’s after 10 they need to unbleep that stuff. I caught Katt Williams one night late on Comedy Central and for the first time I could understand his jokes because they weren’t bleeping every other word. Funny shit too!

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