Whatcha doin’ on your back?

Posted: March 4, 2009 in bitching, Calvin, Humiliations galore, Music, Video, work

1iconwickedcoolListening to the Bee Gees to thwart Annoying Cubicle Neighbor from Hell who’s first language is THE OPPOSITE OF ENGLISH, and so he’s having to spell and re-spell his name to the person he’s talking to (the doctor’s office, based on his following conversation.) “No, it’s J as in John, E as in Effilint (I think he meant elephant??), M as in Mary, another M as in Mary, Y. No, Y. Y as in Wellow.”


I smell like vinegar.

Just before walking out the door this morning I reached into the refrigerator to grab my lunch, and a full unopened jar of sliced pepper rings slid out along with my lunch bag. And dropped to the floor. And smashed into a meeeellion little pieces. And scattered peppers and peppery-vinegary liquid all over the kitchen floor. So I spent the next ten minutes paper toweling and shoo-ing the cat out and wiping up and shoo-ing the other cat out and sweeping and FUCK YOU CAT I HOPE YOU STEP ON GLASS and mopping.

I wiped off my shoes and washed my hands three times and I still get a faint whiff of vinegar every now and then.


I had a bad dream starring my ex last night. I have them probably a couple of times a month. I spend my entire waking life NEVER thinking about him, then have frequent (enough) bad dreams that leave me jarred and feeling off for the rest of the day. Motherfucker doesn’t deserve the power he still has over me, no matter how slight it may be.


Calvin has to be away again next week. Even though his tentative trip to Vegas was nixed, he still has to go to a couple of northern Arizona locations that will have him gone for most of next week, if not the whole week.

I forgot how much travel this company has him do – he left it to work for a different company, came back after a year-long absence, and now they’re making up for his departure with a vengeance. Still, gainfully employed, gratitude, etc. etc. ad nausium.


Perfect song for my current mood:

(Video close to not being safe for work…)

  1. dyskinesia says:

    Have a Beagle who thinks her nose was born to be ALLUPINTHERE, everywhere, all the time, so the FU CAT cracked me the hell up, bwahahaha!

    Ya know, I have that wacko random dream crap like that too. Wish I knew a way to defeat it. 😛

    Sorry you gots to do the alone thing again. At bedtime, put on that stinky lotion that he hates and you love so you’ll have something keeping you company as you fall asleep and wake up. 🙂

    And dude, you know that I deeply love you, but it has to be said…. Glitterati is *perfect* name for that band. Unless they wanted to actually add “gay” in there somewhere. (and no flaming please because that comment had NOTHING to do with homosexuals!) And I point you to 0:06 and 2:11 (at least), where I swear on all that’s holy, there are 3 toilet brushes in the shot with the half-naked woman. I rest my case!

    • Laura says:

      Trust me, if our Beagle (Gypsy) had been inside, she would have ingested the whole mess – peppers, glass, and all.

      Whisky and Xanax defeat it, but we’re out of both. 😦

      GOOD IDEA. Whenever I put on lotion, I say “Shields up!” because it acts as a Calvin repellent (ant?).

      Wow. You really looked closely at that video, didn’t you? Now I’m going to have to play it again just to see. Not that I don’t believe you. I just have to wait for my boss to leave his desk (he sits across the isle).

  2. Kim says:

    “Y as in Wellow” – HAAAAAAA!!!
    That made me make a little wellow in my undies and thanks, I needed that freaking laugh!

    • Laura says:

      You wouldn’t laugh if he was your cube neighbor, sweartogawd. He repeated it, NO JOKE, three times. I was all ready to take the phone away from him and yell into the phone, “It’s JEMMY, goddammit!”

  3. AmyD says:

    I read the post and then had to reread the first paragraph again because it was so darn funny.

    Oh geez. Thanks for the laugh!

  4. Taoist Biker says:

    Dys didn’t get the “on your back” reference. I had to tell her. Then I had to sing it for her to make her believe it.

    Me singing the Bee Gees is something that should never, ever, happen (at least since my voice changed). You should all have trembled in fear of a rip in spacetime about 5:30 Eastern last night.

    • Laura says:

      Guffaw! What did Dys think they were singing?

      So it was YOU… Calvin will be sad that he can’t take the credit. (insert evil grin here.)

  5. crisitunity says:

    I only just watched the video. If that’s what MTV looks like these days, I’m GLAD I’m completely unplugged from current culture. The women all look like starved little boys, and the dudes all look like emo asshats.

    No offense intended to your taste in music, dearest, I promise.

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