In my job, I work a LOT with people from countries outside of the U.S., and of those, I communicate most often with folks from Asia. One person in particular has struggled with the language barrier for the entirety of our working relationship. De-fragmenting and interpreting his messages is always a challenge. Case in point is a very typical e-mail that I received from him this morning:
Pls inform what will the status now & the PO  claim request.
Insert slow blink here.
Knockin’ ’em out:
I am at 27% complete on my list of 101 things to do in 1001 days. I find it interesting that I have completed items in every section of the list except “creative things”. I shall endeavor to remedy that this weekend.
We left the house last night in the truck, windows down to enjoy the evening air. In between songs, we heard a “tink tink tink tink tink” as we drove along. Calvin pulled over and discovered a screw (and washer!) stuck into our front driver’s side tire. So we tink-tink-tinked over to the nearby auto parts store, and he bought a tire repair kit. We then tink-tink-tinked back home where he attempted to fix the tire. It thwarted him (I think the kit was faulty), so he took off the punctured tire and put on the spare.
I praised him on his manliness and ability to do ANYTHING (have I mentioned?), and we went to Chili’s for dinner. Where he impressed me YET AGAIN by ordering off of the “Guiltless Grill” menu, Chili’s “healthy alternatives” option. There was broccoli involved, people.
I know! OMG, right?
Anyway. This morning I called the nearest “Discount Tire” to see how much they charge to fix a punctured tire (neither the limited warranty on the tires, nor the warranty on the truck, cover it). The dude on the phone said, “We don’t charge anything, ma’am! Just bring it on over!”
I boggled, thanked him, and hung up. Then I immediately dialed Calvin to tell him the information:
“Hey, I called Discount Tire and they said it won’t cost anything to repair the tire.”
“Cool! Then just drop it on by.”
“You don’t think there’s something fishy about that?”
“Fishy about what?”
“Well, it’s free!”
“Wait, we’re getting something for free. What’s fishy about that?”
“Play that back in your head and you tell me.”
Currently stuck in my head: