Pity Party

Posted: February 19, 2009 in bitching, Drama, Health/Fitness

1iconreallybadday(( rated R on ))

GoddamnsunuvabitchcocksuckingmotherfuckingWHORE. Hell hell HELL. GAAAAAAAHHHH.

(( rated R off ))

My foot hurts so much that I think I’m going a little bit crazy. When I stand on it, it feels like it’s being pierced by a nail (and I know what that feels like). When I don’t stand on it, the ache spreads across the whole foot and just THROBS.

The alarm went off this morning, and after making a quick phone call to Calvin to wake him up for his day, I laid in bed for a solid twenty minutes just bawling and feeling completely sorry for myself. I’m tired of hurting. I’m tired of not being able to frickin WALK without pain. I’m tired of not being able to work out the way I want to, and get fit, and lose weight. I’m tired of falling apart.

Calvin is blaming yoga, and I’m kind of inclined to agree for this circumstance. My foot ached on Tuesday before I did yoga, but silly me, I thought stretching would make it feel better. Instead, I think it was a ‘last straw’ scenario, and whatever went to hell in a handbasket chose that moment to do so.

The symptoms are dead on for plantar fasciitis, but in a SEVERE kind of way. My body, when it breaks, goes for it with an all or nothing attitude.

Advil and Tylenol (even the nice 800mg arthritis kind) aren’t even making a dent in this pain. I spent all last night icing, off and on, and it would soothe the hurt for a little bit, but five minutes after taking the ice pack off it would just hurt all over again. I have a doctor’s appointment tonight and I’m sure they’re just going to tell me to rest, ice, etc. etc. etc. Really, what I’m hoping for is some strong painkillers, cuz this over the counter stuff ain’t doing jack.

I’m so frustrated, and upset, and I’m just having a really really bad day. (Though not as bad as Calvin, who was up on a roof at 8:00 this morning in eight-degree weather. With wind. And snow. And ice.)

So. How are YOU?

  1. Kim says:

    I’m fucking pissed off, hating everything, wanting to punch someone in the face, mostly myself, and counting down the hours until I can take a xanax, thanks for asking.
    I’m sorry about your foot, that sounds like a big piece of shit pie. I really hope the doctor gives you something for it that’s worthwhile because it sounds like you’ve already done all the stuff you’re supposed to do. Sometimes opiates are the only answer. And sometimes they’re the best answer. If he prescribes some, go straight to the pharmacy, pick them up, go home and have at it. It’ll turn your pity party into a way more enjoyable party. In fact, go ahead and wash it down with a glass of wine, Judy Garland style.

  2. Laura says:

    Kim – You wanna come over? We can have a Xanax/Percocet/Wine party!!!

  3. crisitunity says:

    I’m sorry!! 😦

    No more standing poses for you. At all. [stern face] Seated only!

  4. Laura says:

    Crisitunity – Yes ma’am!!! 😀

  5. Dyskinesia says:

    I can has help for the foots! (hopefully!!)

    I had WICKED bad plantar fasciitis about 10 years ago, both feet. Couldn’t walk, sit, stand, what have ya. Last things first, once it gets better, get up and walk around at work, often. Turns out SITTING is bad for this. Who knew?

    Second, physical therapy with ultrasound and massage, possibly iontophoresis. I freaking HATED having to go to this 2-3 times a week (just because I don’t like appointments), but let me tell you, it ROCKED — and that isn’t in a big enough font. Never would have made it through without that, srsly.

    …and first and foremost, you need a glass bottle. The perfect one for me turned out to be a cocktail sauce bottle that flared a little at top and bottom but the middle (foot width) was all one dimension (no tapering – taper is bad). Throw that baby on the floor, take your sock off, and roll your foot over it. TO THIS DAY, if my feet start acting up, I can just roll them and pretty much fix it overnight or a in a couple of days. I might have to add some stretching if I didn’t catch it soon enough, but stretching is for when it is mild, not when it’s already bad. I’m so devoted to that bottle that I still have it 10 years later and have moved it to 3 different homes in 2 different states, tyvm.

    PT should also be able to tell you the best kind of tennis shoe for your feet and can give you a note that lets you wear them to work if you can’t already. 😉 (mwahahahaha!)

    Find your glass bottle, grasshoppa. Do kinda short bursts of time. You’ll know when you need to stop. GOOD LUCK!

  6. Taoist Biker says:

    I can walk just fine, I just can’t completely flex or extend my elbows, or hold my upper arms in line with my chest…

  7. I thought I was having a bad day…but I’ll be just fine. Kim’s photos changed my perspective on the whole day.

  8. Laura says:

    Dys – Good grief, are we so alike that we even have the same FEET?!? That is a WEALTH of very helpful information. And here’s a weird request – could you take a photo of your beloved bottle and e-mail it to me so I’ll know what to be on the lookout for? You’re a LIFESAVER. The cherry kind.

    TB – I’ve been doing weight training, too, but I guess I’ll need to up the weight, since I’m not all that hurty. Of course, I could be channelling Calvin’s dad… “Dad, my foot hurts.” :: punches child in the arm :: “What’d you do that for???” “Well, you’re not thinking about your FOOT, now, are you?”

    MTAE – Guffaw! I know, huh? Leave it to Kim to remind us that whatever else is going on, there’s still BOBs to look forward to.

  9. Kim says:

    I’m glad I could help!
    And a xanax/wine/percocet party? Sounds like my idea of a dream date!

  10. Dyskinesia says:

    I’ll go ya one better. Ya gotta love the internet. 😀


    Apparently, I lied; there’s a hint of taper there toward the bottom, but honestly, I think it’s the same bottle 10 years later! And hey, decent sauce too, hehe.

  11. sherry says:

    I’m so sorry that you’re in so much pain. On the other hand, I totally have to give you props for using cocksuckingmotherfuckingWHORE in a sentence. 🙂

  12. angelcel says:

    Ooooo….painful, and since pain is something I myself seem to be all too familiar with nowadays, trust me I do wholeheartedly sympathise. Bad timing too, for it to happen when you’re home alone. I hope very much that your doctor’s visit will sort this out. It sounds like you may need some physiotherapy …and arnica cream might just help with the pain (???)

  13. crisitunity says:

    I clicked on the foot-nail story, and laughed out loud very hard at the fact that you got stuck on the gurney next to DestinyDestinyDestiny. (I’m sorry to laugh at your misfortune, but the way you told the story was hilarious.) Thanks for brightening my day.

  14. AmyD says:

    Oh I’m just getting ready for the fallout from another mom attack. Seriously.

    I actually had something like that happen to me in high school. It was a nightmare and hurt so freaking bad. And, yeah, assface doctors were just like, “oh, it’s a stress injury” and the damn thing ended up ruining a perfectly good Halloween party for me.

    You’re brilliant, I’m sure you know that chronic pain like that can cause/trigger depression, not offering you assvice, just reminding you so that maybe you don’t take this too hard. But, damn I don’t blame you for being frustrated and tired of the whole damn thing. I hope you take it easy this weekend, have some drinks and chill.

    Thinking of you!

  15. maryanne says:

    I had the same thing about a year ago.. cortisone shots helped (not as bad as it sounds and it was worth it to get rid of the pain) my doctor gave me exercises to do, rolling your foot on a rolling pin was one of them, and it did work.. prescription strength aleve combined with vicodin made everything better. good luck!

  16. Taoist Biker says:

    Yeah, I clicked on the nail story too, and DestinyDestinyDestiny has herself a date with a pole pole pole in about ten more years years years.

  17. Laura says:

    Kim – Heh. We’ll be a RIOT when we first meet each other in real life. Look out world!

    Dys – You are a goddess among women! Also, I’ve been freezing a 16-oz water bottle and rolling that under my foot. Works wonders!

    Sherry – I aim to please. 😀

    Jayne – I’ve never heard of arnica cream. If I can find it, I’ll try it!

    Crisitunity – Grrr… the memory still makes my blood boil. I wonder how she turned out, lo these many years later?

    Amy – Thanks, you made me feel a ton better. Truly!

    Maryanne – They won’t give me the shots OR the good drugs. I’ve never tried Aleve, though. I’m going to the store today so I’ll probably pick some up. Ibuprofen just isn’t doing anything.

    TB – BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAA!!! You are so. right.

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