Total pickle weight.

Posted: February 18, 2009 in best things, Friends, Motorcycle, Pimp, work

innuendoI just grabbed a six inch sub from AcronymCo’s cafeteria.  When they put “extra pickles” (hi, Dys!) on it, as requested, BY GAWD they meant business. Total sandwich weight – 2 lbs. Total pickle weight – 1.5 lbs.

MTAE’s going to make that into something dirty. I know I can count on him for the pithy comment.


On a related note (TB + Dys = related), Taoist Biker recommended in yesterday’s comments that I ride Calvin’s motorcycle as a means to combat boredom. To which I respond thusly:

  2. Calvin would KEEL ME DED.
  3. The bitch (a Kawasaki Vulcan 2000) weighs a good 800 pounds DRY. I could barely deal with my 900’s weight (about 550 lbs.) when I had it.
  4. V. Twin. Engine.


Overheard just now from two gents walking down the isle near my cubicle:

“It’s small!”
“Yes! Small!”
“Small, like your head! Your head is small.”
“Oh! Ah… yeah.”

Sometimes, it’s amusing to work in Cubicle Land.


I have a shite-tonne (that’s a technical term, right there) of work to catch up on, and I only took ONE day off. I’d like to think it’s job security, but really I suspect they’re just having me do a lot of senseless tasks. A common source of amusement around here is to print out Dilbert cartoons and replace the text with AcronymCo appropriate wording. You’d be amazed at how few words actually need to be changed. For instance:


That’s so true to life around here that it makes me want to cry a little.

  1. Taoist Biker says:

    The weight is manageable as long as you keep it shiny-side up. And you don’t have to ride it, just back it out and do a nice burnout in the driveway. Do a smiley face burnout and tell Calvin you wanted to surprise him when he got home. He probably wanted a new rear before spring anyway.

    Hey, on the bright side, you’ll get to meet the neighbors! And maybe even some of your friendly local LEOs!

    BTW, nice bike. I’ve been a fan of the Vulcan line since the 90s.

  2. Heather says:

    I could ride Calvin’s motorcycle for fun. It’s not much bigger than mine was. 😀

  3. Wait…that is like some kind of pressure to be actually dirty with my comment. But, I have heard of people weighing boobs. I’d have to think that two pounds would be an impressive weight for one of those…

  4. Laura says:

    TB – I dunno if he’d be proud or petrified if I managed to pull off a smiley face burnout. And his current rear is just FINE, thank you.

    Heather – Yes, but you see, you’re a badass biker chick. I’m just Hello Kitty. 😛

    MTAE – Oh, no pressure. And, ask Calvin to tell you about his boob-weighing incident sometime… heh.

  5. Kim says:

    So then my suggestion WAS more useful after all? Books aren’t NEARLY as dangerous as motorcycles! Yeah, take advice from someone who takes a minimum of six months to remove all the books from boxes and get them up on the shelves whenever we move somewhere. I’ll shut up now.

  6. Calvin says:

    You could have put a pic of the actual bike up? And please photoshop the back rest out.
    This bike is huge! We had no idea how big it was until we parked next to our friends Fatboy and it looked so small, we have a Fatbitch.

  7. Taoist Biker says:

    Heheh, awesome.

    If it’s warm enough when we go to the in-laws’ next month I might try to snag a ride on my f-i-l’s Road King. That first condition isn’t terribly likely, though.

  8. Dyskinesia says:


    And now that we’ve had a whole thread about boobs and pickles, I am reminded of the utterly fabulous moment on the Drew Carey Show with Craig Ferguson (Drew’s boss) and the Hungarian Boobie Pickle! Someone find a clip of that somewhere because I have to get back to work, dang it. 😛

  9. Laura says:

    Kim – You’re so exceedingly useful, you don’t even know!

    Calvin – Are you suggesting that ANYTHING looks bad on that bike??? And, we’ll have to take it out to get some good pics of it. I have a few on Flickr but none that do her justice.

    TB – You mean Dys won’t keel YOU ded?

    Dys – Heh. I thought you’d appreciate that. I’ll see if I can find the clip and post it!!!

  10. […] and Laura shared a pickle joke a few days back.  In and amongst that, Dys brought up one of my favorite episodes of the Drew […]

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