I lied. I couldn’t wait until half-time.
“How ’bout we stop buying Bud Light for every meeting?” I totally called it when I yelled, “Oh, throw him out the damn window!”
Oh, another movie I’m going to see. “Angels and Demons”. The book was better than “The DaVinci Code”. I’m looking forward to it. And that was a righteous Audi commercial with Jason Statham.
YES! Good call Ken!!!! The Steelers were short of the goal and the challenge held the Steelers to a field goal. Now, watch for the fake, guys… Despite Calvin’s “MISS! MISS!”, he (the kicker) made it (the extra point).
(This entry is not going to make a lot of sense to those people who didn’t watch this same broadcast right along with us. Sorry ’bout that. Maybe you’ll watch next year, now. Heh.)
Really? They’re doing a movie of, “Land of the Lost”? Seems Hollywood bought up a lot of the Super Bowl advertising opportunities. Eh, if anybody can afford it…
I wonder why they insist on using roman numerals? XLIII is a little confusing. What will we do when they get to MDCCCLXXXVIII?
Dammit, we’re punting. And it was a bad one. NOT an auspicous beginning, but we have time. We have time.
“Year One”. Yeah, no.
Fuck. Almost the end of the first quarter and we’ve got nothing, so far. There’s been a ton of holding on the Steelers side, and no calls from the refs. It’s gonna be one of those games. Calvin is starting to get PISSED RIGHT THE HELL OFF.
Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head commercial. Heh. And, huh. The original cast of “The Fast and the Furious” is back for the next movie. I didn’t see any of the other ones outside of the original (thank the good Lord). I might watch this one for Vin.
Ew, dude kissed a chimp.
I love whiskey. Have I mentioned? And I hate John Madden at the moment. COME ON BOYS, HOLD THEM OFF. THIRD AND GOAL. And… a timeout.
Matt Lauer and Will Ferrell. OH THE HARS. Still, not sure I’m going to see “Land of the Lost”. Okay, he just said, “Matt Lauer can eat it.” I’m going to rent it, at least.
Fuck. Touchdown Steelers. Fuck. Calvin’s saying “That’s game,” already, even before the end of the first quarter. He thinks this is the “old” Cardinals who have shown up for this game, and they’ve never come from behind to win. Except for, well, the DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP GAME where they were behind the Eagles in the fourth quarter and made it back to win.
I love the Bud commercials with the Clydesdales. LOVE.
What is with the Cards and their fumblefingers today???? Calvin’s cynisicm knows no bounds.
YES. I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE NEW STAR TREK MOVIE. ALL CAPS APPLY HERE.
I think Leinart is listening to his iPod.
I think Breaston doesn’t get enough credit.
FUCK I WISH MADDEN WOULD SHUT THE HELL UP. ALL CAPS APPLY HERE. Why don’t we the viewers get to vote on who commentates our Super Bowl?
I’m yelling, “Git! Git!” I don’t think they hear me. What, like we’re the only ones holding? They’re not calling it on both sides of the ball and that’s just bullshit.
Thank God for greyhounds. I’m referring to the drink, not the puppy.
Go Breaston. Oooohhh, head-on collision. Second down and seven.
TOUCHDOWN! TOUCHDOWN! TOUCHDOWN! Beautiful. And I love Neil Rackers.
I call “boo” on the Cars.com commercial.
Calvin: “Smash him! Turnover! Something! GODDAMMIT!”
SHUT. UP. MADDEN. Jaysus, is he sucking the Steelers’ dick.
(Hi, this entry is rated PG-13 for Adult Language and Alcohol Consuption.)
Jesus, are they going to finally call holding on the Steelers? YES. FINALLY. It’s about time.
Fuck. And we just gave the pentalty right back with our encroachment.
I should have made a drinking game out of Calvin’s, “SMASH HIM.” Eh, I’m drinking enough without it.
And there goes Breaston with the big play again! I call him game MVP.
Shit. First sack for Warner. Dude gets hit too much. He needs to converse with his protection in Ye Olde Locker Room at half-time.
Time out AZ. 2:59 to go in the half. You know, for those of you following along at home.
What is it about those talking baby commercials? I laugh every time. And now Calvin has put on his 3-D glasses and said out LOUD, “Hey, these glasses suck. Everything’s messed up.” Um, yeah, because what you’re looking at ISN’T IN 3-D. No more for you, dear.
Fuck. Punting. (I say “fuck” a lot.)
False start on Arizona? Way to finish the half, guys! This is rookie shit, right here. Cut it out.
Nice D, though. About time. No fair catch.
Yep, I’m gonna watch “Up”.
You know, I’ve never drank (drunk? getting there…) Bud Light out of a blue bottle. Yet they’re all over the commercials.
We got short ribs from Chili’s, I made taco soup, and we got a metric ton of munchies at the store yesterday. We’re having a MUCH better time than we would have had at the bar. Plus, we can wear our jammies.
YES! PICK! INTERCEPTION at the two-minute warning. A MUCH better way to out of the half.
“No one wants to see you naked!” WHOA. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT??? Wow.
I said, “Go, Jay!” Calvin said, simultaneously, “Fuck Jay. He’s got some cool-ass cars, though.” Heh. He’s just jealous.
Is it wrong that I’d rather pee during the regular game than during the commercials?
Now I’m ready to call, “That’s game.” A 100-yard interception return by the Steelers. The longest play in NFL history, and it’s against the Cardinals. Of course. Of COURSE.
Booth Review. So we wait.
Calvin thinks they’re going to give it to ’em…
I. Hate. Madden…
And the ruling on the field stands. Touchdown. We’re fucked. Figures. 17-7 at the half.
Time for the 3-D glasses, which we have for the “Monsters vs. Aliens 3-D Event of the Year” – with a commercial for “Monsters vs. Aliens” (which we will go to see), Sobe, and “Chuck” (one of the few TV shows we DON’T watch). Courtesy of AcronymCo. Are you paying attention, readers? I just revealed a huge secret, here. Heh. Let’s just see how many people are actually reading this whole thing.
I don’t believe they should be allowed to show previously-aired commercials during the Super Bowl. Seem ’em. Don’t care.
“I knew it. I knew he was one of us.” Har.
Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce!
Put the chicken fingers down? Wha?
I’m alive, Bruce! I’m alive! Oh, dear, I didn’t think he was gonna get back up from that laid-back kneel he just did. They still kick HELLA ass. I love bands that have a horns section.
YES. They’re playing, “Born to Run”, my second-favorite Bruce tune (my first being “Waiting on a Sunny Day”). I’M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW. “Tramps like us, baby were born to run!” God love that sax player.
Oh, now he’s bringing out the gospel singers. Look out. Don’t know this song, but it’s very up-lifty!
YES. My THIRD most favorite Bruce tune, “Glory Days”. I love Steve Van Zant!!!!! Oh, I’m in my happy place right now. Calvin is hand-feeding me bites of rib and THIS song is playing. “Woo!”
It’s Boss Time!!!!
MAN. They did a goooood job. “I’m goin’ to Disneyland!”
Okay. They’re going overboard with the Toyota Tundra commercials.
I love William Shatner. An Asian guy doing a Shatner impersonation = television gold.
“What happened to your butt?” BWAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAA.
What, Obama has time to do an interview on the Today Show already? I didn’t notice that the economy is fixed, yet. You won, Obama! The campaign is over. “Matt Lauer can eat it.”
Shut it, Madden.
Man, another looooong half to go.
Calvin’s general advice for any running play is, “Hold the ball.”
Oh, walk it off, Boldon. That’s right, boys, go with what ya know.
Calvin is wondering why he ever liked Madden. I could have done a drinking game with, “ya know”. Good think I don’t need no stinkin’ drinkin’ game. Urp.
Good thing Calvin has tomorrow off.
Wow. I just YELLED, “COME ON! WHAT THE FUCK!” Shit Fuck Hell. A turnover. They better fucking challenge it, dammit. It was incomplete.
Wow. Looks like I’m going to Denny’s on Tuesday.
THANK GOD. The ruling is an incomplete pass. 4th and 6, which still doesn’t do anything for us because we have to punt, but whatever. Geez, Wizenhunt can call another challenge because he’s 2 for 2 on challenges this quarter. Awesome. Didn’t know that about the new rules.
I. LOVE. CLYDESDALES.
I. LOVE. THE. ROCK. YES. RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN. Let’s hear it for nostalgia movies. That’s awesome.
I didn’t remember that Cuba Gooding Jr. played an Arizona Cardinal in “Jerry McGuire”.
Out goes the weekend trash. Loooots of beer bottles. Urp.
Darnit. I had high hopes for this game, but I guess an AZ win is just not meant to be. It was too much to hope for, I guess. I must admit, though, sometimes I wonder if the refs are on the take.
I will watch the next “Transformers” movie. I have a feeling it’s going to be The Empire Strikes Back-esque, with the heroes appearing to lose in the second movie before triumphing in the third movie.
I might kill someone if this Career Builder commercial doesn’t end soon. I’m not a lover of the “Groundhog Day” experience.
Okay, the Coke commercial with all the insects was clever. And our stupid cable keeps pixellating.
Heh. Every time I hear, “Move the chains,” I think of that SNL skit of a couple of weeks ago. Or was it a couple of years ago, and it was on their Sports Special? Something.
OH MY GOD, THEY’RE KILLING OFF JACK. AND I DON’T MEAN 24.
Beginning of the 4th quarter. I don’t have high hopes. After all, the Steelers haven’t been called on holding all day. I think it’s a conspiracy.
JUMP, motherfucker. What the hell are you getting paid for, anyway? We might as well stop watching, except I don’t want to miss the COMMERCIALS. Dammit.
Really? An all-celebrity Apprentice? Christ.
They’re going to call another frikkin penalty on us, aren’t they? The refs are ruling this game. This is bullshit.
Okay, the parody of the Mean Joe Green commercial was just lame as hell. And after all the hype, too.
Arizona’s on their 28 with some rhythm. We’ll see. Flag’s down, it’s probably on us. Usually is. 96 yards of penalties on us, 15 on Pittsburg, for the whole damn game. Sure. Really?
Pittsburg time out. Second and goal. At least they called a damned penalty on the Steelers, finally.
ARIZONA TOUCHDOWN! Look, we showed up, finally. I mean, it’s only half-way through the fourth quarter, after all. Come on, boys. Hold them off, and make another touchdown.
“Hulu. An evil plot to destroy the world. Enjoy.” BWA. Just for that, I’ll check ’em out.
I’m seven minutes from hitting “publish” on this entry. Something tells me I’ll be sad at the time. I say as Arizona SACKS the Steelers’ quarterback. Pessimism has been my lucky charm throughout the playoffs. We’ll see if the method holds true for this game.
And now Madden is sucking Arizona’s dick. Fair weather commentator. Feh.
(Hi, did I mention this entry is PG-13? Creeping up on “R” if I say “fuck” one more time. Oops…)
YES. MacGruber! Aww, he sold out to Pepsi. That’s really Richard Dean Anderson! That’s awesome. But “Pepsuber” = EPIC FAIL.
Oh-ho, no fighting boys. No fighting. Flag’s out, who gets unsportsmanlike conduct? It’ll go on us, you watch. Oh, okay. Unnecessary roughness on the Steelers. About time. But is it too little, too late?
Good run to the 26!!! Oh, man. Guys, don’t screw it up. Aaaaand, now a holding call on us. What le fuck?
Another greyhound. How many does that make, I wonder? My typing’s still okay…
COME ON. GIVE US THE BALL BACK. WE DESERVE IT. DAMMIT. OF COURSE THEY GAVE IT TO PITTSBURG. THESE REFS ARE BULLSHIT.
That’s game. Sucks. The refs dictate the game instead of the players. The Cards can’t beat the Steelers AND the refs against them. I call complete and total bullshit. 3:21 left in the game and little hope in sight.
No rubbing it in by the Steelers fans in the comments, please. Ah, fuck it. Go ahead. Rub away. SIGH.
3rd down and ten. Would’ve been sweet if it could have been a safety. Woulda, coulda. And Steeler’s first down, with a flag.
NO. WAY. We got a safety called IN OUR FAVOR. WOOOOOOOOOOOO. If we score a touchdown, now? OMG OMG OMG.
Michael just called from the Super Bowl party he’s at. Now Calvin and he are debating the behavior of the refs. Michael is rooting for the Steelers. I’m so disappointed. He’s so misguided. Oh, where did we go wrong?
OH MY GOD TOUCHDOWN FITZGERALD!!!! TWO MINUTES THIRTY SECONDS AWAY FROM THE WIN. IT’S A REPEAT OF THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME. YES YES YES YES YEEEEEEEESSSSSSS.
OhpleaseohpleaseohPLEASE hold the Steelers off for two more frikkin’ minutes. NO prevent defense, for the love of God.
I can’t watch. I’m going to go check the mail. Calvin won’t let me go. This is stressing me out. COME ON.
Two minute warning. I’M GOING TO DIE.
Per Calvin: “Cardiac Cardinals. Fuck me.”
Pittsburg time out, with another one left. I can’t stand it.
SHIT. Pittsburg is at the five yard line. I can’t believe we’re not going to win. DAMMIT. So much for our Cinderella story. We’re doomed if we go into overtime, but I’d take that over them winning right now.
Touchdown Steelers. That’s it. We’re done. I’m so sad. So very sad. There’s just no way the CARDINALS are pulling something out with 35 seconds left to play.
Pittsburg interception at five seconds. And now we’re changing the channel.
Not spell checking. Don’t feel like it.