First Quarter Footblog

Posted: January 18, 2009 in Arizona, best things, Calvin, Drama, goals, weekend

cards2This is it. Today is the day that decides if the Cards will be going to the Super Bowl, or ending their season SO CLOSE yet SO FAR AWAY. I could say that it doesn’t matter, that they did an awesome job to get this far and if they fail today they’re still pride-worthy… but…

“It’s an honor to just be nominated…”


The win is EVERYTHING, and if they don’t, this city’s fans will jump right off the Cards support bandwagon as quickly as they jumped on-board when they realized we’ll be going to the playoffs.

If they win today, and if they win the Super Bowl, this entire state is going to collectively shit itself. In a good way. We’ve spent so long expecting so little from this team that if they win, we won’t know how to deal with that. We’ll be in a position we’ve never been in before.

It’ll be way weird.


Okay, I’m going to do some real-time blogging during the game. This should be interesting.


Okay! Kickoff time. We just sat through an hour of pre-game commentary and quarterback documentaries. I like Kurt Warner. He’s a good guy.

Now we get to suffer through commentator inanity. Of the type, “In order to win this game, you gotta score more touchdowns than the other team.” Ya think?

The anthem is being sung by Jordin Sparks, a native Arizonan. One hopes she sings it straight and traditional, instead of adding in all those runs and embellishments and crap. Oh, poor thing, she’s nervous but managing it really well. And DAMMIT, the anthem always chokes me up.


Okay, she embellished a little, but she did a good job!

Calvin says all the Cards have to do is protect Kurt Warner, stay aggressive on defence, don’t turn the ball over, and make at least one touchdown off of a turnover. Then they’ll be just fine. Heh, that’s “all” they have to do? I want to see a good game, but I still hope that the Cards get out in front and stay out in front definitively throughout the whole game.

We ordered pizza and wings, and I have a glass of Milk Stout next to me. Life is good. I’m glad we stayed home in our jammies instead of going to the bar, which is going to the PACKED today. People were asking if they could reserve tables. At the BAR.

Cardinals vs. Eagles.  This game sponsored by the Audubon Society.

They didn’t show the coin toss? Weird. We’re going offense first. Well, at least the whole line is healthy for this game.

I just asked Calvin what a slant pass is, since he thinks that’s what we should start with. We need to get our running game started.

First pass, first completion. Warner got to dictate if the dome was open or closed – interesting that they have stats on which condition he plays better under. He wanted the dome closed. I’m not sure what difference it makes, since the ceiling is WAAAAAAY up there. Whatever.

Boldin is a great receiver. So is James. We have a great offensive line. Go Egger!

Calvin: “Egger found his suit.” Spot the reference.

This run – one pass = one down. Gotta love it.

Touchdown Cards! 82 almost knocked 11 out of the touchdown, for crying out loud. Stay out of the way of your own guy! And, the extra point. WOOT!

7/0 Cards.

Fuck. That “Wanna get away?” commercial where the guy throws the controller at the TV always makes me cringe.

Calvin is judging me. He thinks blogging while watching the game is dumb. I don’t care what he thinks.

Shit. Neil kicked the ball out of bounds and the Eagles get to start on their 40. Not. Good.

Oz is annoyed that I have my laptop in my lap. He wants to snuggle and watch football, too.

What the fuck. The quarterback makes the first down? Where the HELL was our defense? And the Cards rack up their first offsides penalty. Calvin’s hollering, “SMASH HIM!” Doesn’t matter which “him” gets smashed, as long as its wearing an Eagles uniform. And Wilson just listened to Calvin and kept the gain on this play to one yard. 3rd and 5. Come on boys, stop ’em here!

JESUS CHRIST, how much time did they just give the Eagles quarterback. First frikkin’ down.

(There’s going to be a lot of swearing in this post, I warn you.)

YEAH. They jumped, false start. Back it up, boys! And the next throw is blocked, keeping the Eagles to a field goal. Which they made.

7/3 Cards.

MAN, I love this milk stout. And, is it wrong that I want the Manning boys to win the Oreo challenge? “Oh man, there’s blimp in my milk.” Heh.

Hey. Milk stout and Oreos. Hmm…

Um? Why is the Fox robot waiving a checkered flag?

I’ve been watching football all season long and I have to say I’m MIGHTILY tired of these Dodge Ram Challenge commercials.

Okay, now we’re starting at the 24. Ih, hardly a gain. Egger’s going East/West when he should be going North/South. Dang, Meyers looks like he’s one burger away from a heart attack. I like him, despite the fact he’s the opposing team’s coach. He seems like a good guy.

The commentator is saying that the Eagles have been very inconsistent in the red zone. That’s okay with me.

Dammit, 4th and 1. Looks like we’re kicking it again. DAMMIT, Eagles are starting at the 33.

PICK! YEAH YEAH YEAH. And, FUCK. Philly got it back again at the end of the run. Well, they’re back further into our territory, though. OH PHEW, no catch. I thought they were going to pull it off. Nice D, too. WHY aren’t the Cards putting more pressure on McNabb? He has HOURS to throw the ball. Crap, and we get a holding penalty.

Well! End of first quarter.

Okay, gonna take a break and snuggle the cat – he’s judging me with those judgy eyes. I’ll be back at the end of this game… holy crap.


AND, the game just ended. The Cardinals are going to the mutha fuckin’ Super Bowl. We’re shrieking. We can’t believe it.

The world really IS ending in 2012.


  1. Kim says:

    If you guys were to attend the Super Bowl to watch your team, I could tell you every great spot in Tampa to hit while you were there.
    I’s used to live thar.
    To say it’s a partying town is quite the understatement.

  2. Sharon says:

    I was so happy to see Arizona win today. I love an underdog AND I hate the Eagles. 🙂 Congrats!!

  3. Dyskinesia says:

    Okay, first of all — I loves the Men in Black, baby!

    Secondly, we didn’t watch the game, so this post was actually lots of fun for us. TB is putting GP photos in an album, and I read the whole thing out loud, much as I imagine you actually sounded in the room. Was fun! Even if a possibly a little weird, heh.

    Third, TB, the Carolina fan, was mentally flipping you off the entire time I was reading!

    Last, but not least, CONGRATS!! from me, and from TB: Happy for you and all, but fugov!! 😉

  4. Dyskinesia says:

    OH, and crap – knew I’d forget something and then remember as soon as I hit Submit…

    As I was reading, “SMASH HIM!,” I turned to TB and said, Yep, you two would get along JUST fine!

  5. That sure was a fun ending to the game…and two weeks of fun for Arizona. The Steelers/Cardianl connection is a big one too. This should be fun!

  6. Kim says:

    I hope they wipe the field of Raymond James Stadium with the Steelers’ assholes.

  7. Jeanette says:

    OK I’m not a football fan (good thing because look who my local team is (Detroit)!) but I will be very excited for you if the Cards win the Super Bowl. I just go to the parties for the food and the commercials!

  8. Laura says:

    Kim – GOD, I WISH.

    Sharon – Yay! Thanks!

    Dys – Tell TB I said fugov back! Heh. We’d have a fun Super Bowl party among the four of us, I think.

    MTAE – I was sure the Cards blew it, as is their habit. But they pulled it off in the end!

    Kim – AMEN, SISTER.

    Jeanette – I used to be the same way, but I got sucked in despite myself. Now I’m a raving lunatic. Well, I have always been, but now it’s about football too.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s