I win. Twenty-one.

Posted: December 17, 2008 in Headspace, Music, Video, work

daffyBeat that, Blacque Jacque Shellacque.

I feel like I won today.

I thwarted a panic attack. Totally kicked it.

I keep forgetting to tuck one or two Xanax into my purse, since every now and then I get a panic attack at work. Today I was dealing with some test scrips in the development environment of a new program we’re implementing at the beginning of the year. It was fucking with me (thank god the production environment will be faster than the dev environment, or else there’d be a mutiny around here).

Getting fucked with tends to get me wound up. Getting wound up tends to bring on panic attacks. Thus was my condition about an hour ago, with nary a prescription druuuuuug (maaan) in sight.

So I put on my headphones and went for a walk around campus. Then sat on the patio for a few minutes, listening to music and breathing and watching the population of AcronymCo scurry by. By the time I got back to my desk, the crisis was averted and I felt as close to normal as I get.

My panic attacks respond better to thrashin’ music than soothing melodies. Witness:

And also,

(Thanks to Sharon for turning me on to that last one.)

  1. Amanda says:

    Good for you! That’s really awesome, Laura!!

  2. iamheatherjo says:

    Aww. I miss Dave Williams (RIP). ‘Bodies’ was the song I chose for the sex scene of my imaginary life story. 😀

  3. I am a Metallica “For Whom the Bell Tolls” and a GnR “Outta Get Me” person when it comes to getting me off of the roof.

  4. Kim says:

    That is so cool you avoided an attack! I don’t usually carry my crazy pills with me either, which doesn’t make much sense, but I’ve been able to thwart a panic attack too – though sometimes better living through chemistry is the only answer.
    Metallica’s Master of Puppets is a good one too.

  5. Jeanette says:

    Good for you! I carry my Xanax with me because unfortunately when I am at work and having anxiety I don’t always have the option to get up and walk around.

  6. Taoist Biker says:

    “Har-har, hardy har-har!”

    Now that Dys has the external hard drives breathing again and all our music is in one place and available, I will definitely make you a copy of my hugemonguous “Smash the World” mp3 mix disc when I whip one up. (Heather, you too! And “Bodies” for a sex scene still kills me, heheheh.)

    In the meantime, a good (very short) catharsis is always available in Superjoint Ritual’s “Waiting for the Turning Point.”

  7. Laura says:

    Amanda – Thanks! Now if only I dared hide a flask in my desk…

    Heather – That creates an AWESOME visual for Calvin, I guar-an-tee.

    MTAE – Also excellent choices. I had my iPod on shuffle, those were two that came up.

    Kim – I see a Metallica theme, here. My fave is “Hero of the Day”. Not as hard as some of their stuff, but I love that you can hear the pick on the guitar strings.

    Jeanette – Hey, whatever works, right?

    TB – Ah, my Bugs Bunny Buddy! 😀 Oh, I’d LOVE a copy of that mix! I have a lot of good crazy songs on my iPod, those are just two that came up in the shuffle. And I’m off to iTunes now to download that song…

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