One perfect moment.

Posted: December 10, 2008 in Headspace

1iconpenDepression makes me hyper-aware of my mood from moment to moment, day to day. I find myself constantly on the look out for perfect moments in time. Those moments where it all just falls away. When everything’s beautiful and nothing hurts, to paraphrase a line of a poem by Kurt Vonnegut Jr., and also the title of one of my favorite blogs. That’s a damned good line, right there. It describes exactly the feeling that I’m always looking for.

I usually have a few perfect moments a day. The key is to be on the lookout for it. To be able to identify the moment and recognize it when it occurs, and then take the time to appreciate it. Moments such as watching a particularly colorful sunset out on the back patio with Calvin. Or taking my first deep breath of fresh (cool!) air in the morning. Or laughing over a perfectly timed inside joke.

Yesterday’s perfect moment was at my desk, actually – rare, that. After posting South Park’s version of “O Holy Night”, I looked up Josh Groban’s version. It’s one of the best renditions I’ve ever heard (have I mentioned my propensity for tenors?). Right up there with Pavoratti’s. Anyway, toward the end he hits the crescendo, the transcendent high notes, and holds them for a few measures. You know, the “Oh night! Divine! Oh night, oh night divine.” That part.

That right there is a perfect moment. It was my perfect moment yesterday, sitting at my desk with my headphones on, eyes closed. So I could forget where I was and what was going on, for just one minute.  I could step outside of my circumstances, and be somewhere else for a bit.

Sometimes we all need to be somewhere else, for just a minute.

  1. LL Cool Joe says:

    That’s the amazing thing about music…it takes us somewhere else.

    I hope the depression lifts soon.

  2. iamheatherjo says:

    Yesterday, one of mine was, “No cavities. You’re going to live!” Yep. That’s what he said.

    Every time I hear the “oh night divine” part, I giggle because it reminds me of an episode of ‘Frasier’ and his dad was expected to sing that song…and he can’t sing. At all.

    I looooooooooooooove you.

  3. Each time my wife and I hear a new version of that song on in the back ground, we pause and listen at that point to see what they do and what they try. Cartman doesn’t quite cut it, and I am not a Josh Groban fan, but he really hit that note and did an incredible version of that song.

  4. crisitunity says:

    I feel you. Music transcends me like that at so many lucky, splendid moments. I wish I could listen to it at my desk.

    I also hope your depression lifts soon.

  5. Kim says:

    I swear just READING that gave me chills! THAT SONG KICKS ASS! (As Cartman would say) I can’t believe I didn’t know Josh Grobin did a version of it. Guess what I’ll be downloading today?

  6. Taoist Biker says:

    There are definitely musical moments that transport me. I can’t say Christmas songs fit the bill, at least any that I know of, but there are dozens that do. (That said, I brought TSO with me to work today!)

    It’s a beautiful feeling that everybody should feel at one point or another.

    Heather: “You’re going to live!” Heh, I like your dentist! (Finally found one I really like locally, tho, so I’m not switchin’!)

    Crisitunity: You can’t even have an Ipod? Hell, I listen to my death metal on my speakers, I just turn it down a bit so it doesn’t bother my coworkers on either side who have kids my age.

  7. K says:

    How about a hug and smootchie?…Sorry your not feeling “right”…



  8. Laura says:

    LL Cool Joe – I have a whole playlist dedicated to “uplifting” music. I should do another mix CD giveaway.

    Heather – I love you back!

    MTAE – Agreed! I’m waiting for Nathan Pacheco to do a version.

    Crisitunity – Thanks! Thing about clinical depression (especially unmedicated, as I am now), is that it just goes into remission for a while. It ALWAYS comes back, damn it. Also, agree with TB, can’t you listen with headphones? I would KILL myself (or, more probably, others) if I couldn’t listen to music at work.

    Kim – Umm…. Cartman’s version of “Sail Away”? 😀 I PEE’d myself, the first time I saw that scene. To this day it cracks me up. I have no idea why.

    TB – Hmm… I see a Monday Music theme, there.

    Kami – Thanks, and hugs back. Hope your troubles are lifting. Stoopid car.

  9. crisitunity says:

    I was fairly lucky in that my depression evolved into social anxiety, which I find easy to manage as long as I only make friends on the internet.

    Um. Hi, everybody.

    I answer the phone about 80 times in my average workday, so headphones will not work. I can’t use my computer, because my computer is OLD AND BUSTED and the sound card makes all audio come out of the speakers at 2x speed. I dislike the radio. I have thought about buying a cheap radio and using my iPod + FM tuner attachment, but I’d use up all the music on my iPod pretty quickly, and I also sit in a receptionist-like area so I don’t really know if it’s OK to listen to the music I’d want to listen to.

  10. K says:

    Don’t know yet, guess I’ll find out my Christmas!!!!

  11. Laura says:

    Crisitunity – That just sucks rocks. Do you have a wish list on Amazon? Because an office with no music is just criminal. Or breeds criminals of the homicidal sort. One or the other.

    K – Good luck!

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