More Reader Questions

Posted: March 30, 2008 in Journal, meme

Wrapping up on the reader questions:

Taoist Biker asked about the photos I had up on Flickr of the drag races. I never was into drag racing before Calvin and I were together, and now we go at least every year. We live very near to Firebird Raceway, which hosts the Checker-Schuck’s Kragen Nationals, the Bug Run, the Boat Drags, and various Jets vs. Funny Cars events. It makes for a fun day, wandering around with $10 beers in hand, checking out the team booths, eating food that is very bad for us, and finding a place in the stands to feel the thump of the drags in our solar plexus as they go by.

The crowds were very annoying this year, though, and they had way too much reserved seating and not enough general admission seating. In the end the folks were ignoring the chickie that was hollering, “General Admission! ONE OVER!” and trying to get people to sit in the correct seating. When there weren’t enough reserved tickets sold and the stands were standing 3/4 empty, while folks were packed in like sardines in the GA seating, they should have opened all the stands up. But that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.

Jen asked for me to talk about, “Growing up. Being a grown up. When are you a “grown up?” How is the you of today different from the you of yesteryear?”  Well, for one thing, I like myself more as an adult than I did as a teenager.  It didn’t occur to me, any earlier than thirteen or so, to have an opinion about myself one way or another.  I don’t feel much different inside my head now than I felt when I was sixteen or seventeen.  But I’m far less petulant now.  I’m more patient.  I understand things better now.  I know how to do things now.  I have MUCH more confidence in myself.  I’m not nearly as insecure as I used to be.  I have complete control over my temper, which used to be the bane of my existence.  My world has expanded from the narrow view it used to have.

I had an excellent childhood.  I was given all the values I needed to grow into a responsible adult.  I was taught the value of hard work.  Very little was ever “given” to me.  All my needs were met, but my “wants” had to be prioritized.  We were not rich by any means.  And so I babysat and did filing and worked at the stable where I boarded my horse.  I earned the things that I wanted, and therefore appreciated them more.

I guess because of the responsibilities I had early on, coupled with being brought up by my grandmother and that subsequent generation gap, predisposed me to being older in behavior and mind than my fellow teens.  Then I got married at seventeen, and moved three thousand miles away from home at nineteen, both of which served to further push me toward being a “grown-up”.  I would say that my growth into adulthood was firmly cemented when I decided to get out of my abusive relationship with my ex.  I was twenty-two.  I ran out of my house in my t-shirt and undies one night and never looked back as I drove away.  The following year of filing papers and getting a restraining order and getting stalked and living alone for the first time and learning how to shoot and engaging a lawyer and then finally having the divorce finalized “in absentia” when my ex (thankfully) disappeared, well, that would be enough to mature even the most immature of young adults.

I would never “go back” to being a teenager.  I might not even “go back” to my early to mid-twenties.  I like myself as a person now better than I ever have before.

I really enjoyed this reader question meme.  I welcome anyone at any time who has a topic that they would like me to write about!

  1. cynthea says:

    This is so personal, I would completely understand if you chose to ignore this writing prompt:

    How did your fear of the man you used to love affect your love with Calvin? If it did at all. (And I’m talking about the Abuse, and Running Out Into The Night, and Driving Away From It All, etc. I did all that, too.)


  2. Jayne says:

    “I like myself as a person now better than I ever have before.”

    That’s a great thing to be able to say. You really have come through hell and can feel proud that not only did you survive, you have found strength from adversity. You’re a tremendous example to others out there. I’m proud of you my friend.

  3. Laura says:

    Cynthea – You know, I thought I wrote about the whole ex saga, but perhaps I didn’t. I’ll write about it in an upcoming entry. It’s personal but I view my “escape” to be one of the most significant accomplishments of my life. Thanks for asking!

    Jayne – It IS a good thing to be able to say, isn’t it? I suspect I was a snot when I was a teenager, but I like to think I’m a decent person now. 😀 You’re very kind!

  4. Ann Marie says:

    Hi there. Reading your blog again.
    Up really early today and didn’t want to go back to sleep.
    The reason I’m replying to this one is I remember when you were 22… I had just met you a little while after. Now after 9yrs…
    of knowing each other. I think we have the same relationship then as now. I’m glad to call you my friend.

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