State of the Health Address

Posted: March 11, 2008 in health, WTF

I have not been feeling well AT ALL lately – and by “lately” I mean “MONTHS”.  The best word I can come up with for the way I’m feeling is “toxic”.  So I decided to take a cleanse for the next three months.  I’m recording my experiences on Operation::Goddess (link to your left), for those stalwart readers who like the gory details of such things.  The cleanse entries are password protected, though, so you’ll have to e-mail me to get that.  If you want it.  I, personally, wouldn’t.  I don’t even really want to be writing what I’m writing, but I need to record it somewhere, so Op:G it is.

A very important part of the cleanse is ensuring that you drink enough water throughout the day.  I am SO not one to pay attention to how any ounces/cups/bottles I’ve drunk, so I got one of these puppies to haul around. Fill it up once, drink it till it’s gone, no thought involved. It’s rather large and awkward, but I’m stuck at my desk all day so that really doesn’t matter.

I would take more pictures of myself (or have Calvin take them) and put them up on Flickr, if I didn’t look so incredibly hag-like lately. I can even deal with my chubbiness, at the moment, (SOON TO BE GONE, DAMMIT), but my face looks like it has aged about seventeen years in the past few months. I know part of it is due to the aforementioned toxicity, and the cleanse will help, but I also purchased this and this and this. Grandma taught me the importance of a good facial regime, and Avon products are supposed to be the shizzle. So. We’ll see.

Trust me, this stuff isn’t nearly as TMI as I can get.

  1. Miss Britt says:

    Something tells me the word “cleanse” is a red flag for my delicate sensibilities. lol

  2. Laura says:

    Britt – Oooohhhh yeah.

  3. DBN says:

    Is this the master cleanse? I have always wondered about how that really worked for people.

  4. Jayne says:

    I had a look at your Operation Goddess page. I’ll be interested to know how you get on and how you’re feeling. Such things are, as far as I’m aware, not generally done over here, pro-biotic yogurts being about as close as the average person gets. I really hope this works for you.
    Great idea with the face creams. I’ve been using Christian Dior products for years now, simply because they really, really suit my skin, where other creams sit on my skin like an oil slick. When I was in hospital for a few weeks in 2003 I didn’t use anything other than soap and water and when I got home I noticed a *huge* difference in the way I looked. Apart from the fact I’d just had a stroke (and therefore had a wonky smile!) I also looked about 90. Once I got back to my regime, my skin improved immeasurably.
    Aside from all of the above, please try not to fall into the ‘no photos’ trap. It’s something we women all too readily do. You have a beautiful face….I look forward to seeing you again on Flickr.

  5. Laura says:

    DBN – It’s not the Master Cleanse, you can check it out at drnatura(dot)com.

    Jayne – Yeah, this method is primarily sold in Canada and the US. I hope it works too, because I’m at my wits end! As far as the photos are concerned, I’m not in them much as it is! I’m always the one behind the camera. But I’ll try not to purposefully avoid pics of myself, if only for your sake! 🙂

  6. rai says:

    I’ve thought about doing one of those. As I share many of the issues on your list of symptoms, I should get around to doing it sooner than later.

  7. Kim says:

    I’ve been shopping around for various face stuff and right now am using pretty much just Oil of Olay and Neutrigena products. Will you report in as to how you’re liking the Anew stuff? I’ve heard it’s great too.

  8. Lana says:

    check out Clinique’s 3 step program – (I use the gel type of moisturizer for the 3rd step) you’ll end up with skin smoother and softer than a baby’s bottom … I personally won’t ever use anything else ! I hope your feeling better once your into your whole body cleanse… good luck

  9. Laura says:

    Rai – YMMV, but I seem to be doing okay so far.

    Kim – I’ve been using OoO for years and it’s just not cutting it. Certainly I will keep you all updated! You’ll probably start seeing more (voluntary!) photos of me if it does work.

    Lana – If the Anew stuff doesn’t work out, then I’ll try your recommendation. Thanks!

  10. Heather says:

    If your skin is at all sensitive like mine is, be careful with the Avon stuff. It breaks me out. I’ve been using Lancome skin care for over 15 years now and love them and people always tell me I have nice skin. I try other things but always end up going back to Lancome. (And I don’t believe for one second that you look at all hag-like!)

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