Posted: April 20, 2007 in Blogthings, Calvin, Journal, misc, Op:Goddess

Crystal interviewed ME because she loves ME and only ME and no one ELSE but ME except maybe her dog Moose.

1. I’ve read your goddess journal with regard to your illness (btw, update it more, I am so sure!) and want to know: how are you feeling? How are things with your health?

I am feeling much, much better. The proton pump flux capacitor photon torpedo inhibitors (aka: Protonix) seem to be doing the trick with the ol’ pancreatitis. I haven’t had any caffeine or alcohol since April 1st. Or jalapenos, or raw onions, or really anything else that encourages the pancreatitis to flare up. I shall continue to behave myself until the end of July, at which time a) the doctor says I should be fine to re-introduce the “no-no” items in moderate quantities; and b) Calvin and I are going to the Oregon Brewer’s Festival and all non-drinking bets will be off.

On Monday I’m getting the much-delayed MRI, just to make sure it’s just (“just”! Hah!) pancreatitis, and not something else like stones in the bile ducts and whatnot.

2. How did you meet your loving man?

Calvin and I met at work, and the sheer odds that we met at all are staggering. I had just moved 3000 miles to Arizona. I got a temp job working at AcronymCo, for a construction company building one of their office buildings. Calvin worked in Facilities for AcronymCo itself, and was one of the folks assigned to the new building project. My boss very randomly assigned me to go out to the newly constructed Mechanical Support Building and monitor the building controls alarms coming in as the systems were set up. Calvin was the go-to guy on AcronymCo’s behalf for these systems. So I sat in the MSB office and called back alarms via the walkie talkie, and he came in and sat down at another workstation. We chatted and flirted, he typed “696969” on the calculator I was using and slid it over in front of me (SUCH a Calvin move you have no idea), I laughed at his dorky audacity, and it was all over but the cryin’ at that point.

For those of you following along at home, yes I met him very soon after moving to Arizona, and yes that means that I was still married at the time to X(m), and Calvin was still married to X(f). But this is indeed how we met.

3. Which is better, America’s Next Top Model or Project Runway, and why? Answer wisely.

Oh geez. There’s going to be trouble in our innernet lesbian marriage now. Crystal is NOT going to be happy to find out that I don’t watch either one of these. Reality shows just pretty much drive me crazy. I can’t see the point to them at all.

4. Is Oprah Winfrey Jesus or the Devil, and why?

Well, Crystal, since you said your own self that you and Jesus are one and the everlovin same, that must make Oprah the Devil by default. Do you see? I PAY ATTENTION.

5. Name the last three books you read that really impressed you—NON-FICTION.

A Year in the Maine Woods by Bernd Heinrich. I really enjoyed this book for multiple reasons. First, of course, is because it’s about Maine. As I grew up in the Maine woods, the subject matter resonated with me. The second appeal the book had for me is that I have always wanted to take a hiatus from life and just escape to a simple place and live a simple life. Heinrich immerses himself in the natural world, the simple culture, and the rhythms of the forest for an entire year. Reading about it made me jealous of his opportunity, to be honest.

America – The Book by John Stewart. This counts as non-fiction, right? Even though Stewart pretty much bastardizes historic fact? This thing had me laughing my ass off throughout. I mean, just the fact that the layout, dimensions, and even the paper it’s printed on is EXACTLY like a high-school history book, was hysterical. Then there’s all these little asides (i.e.: “see fig. 1”) about the personal (and questionable) life and motivations of historic people… well, not everyone will “get” this book, but it appeals to my sense of humor. And John Stewart is damnsexy.

River Town: Two Years on the Yangtze by Peter Hessler. I bought this book because I was doing a paper on the Yangtze River for my college class on Pacific Rim culture. I really didn’t expect to like this book as much as I did. It’s about two young men in the Peace Corps that went to Fuling, China (along the Yangtze River) who stayed for two years as teachers at the local college. They were very American and foreign (the first foreigners to be in that area of China for 50 years), and hijinx ensued as they tried to fit into the local culture.

And you all thought I only read trashy romance novels. Shame on you.

Okay! If anybody would like me to interview them, leave me a comment or shoot me an e-mail!


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