Amusing only to me

Posted: January 18, 2007 in Blogthings, meme

Stolen from Ed Kaz, whose answers I couldn’t improve upon if I tried, and so I won’t. Here is my humble rendition.

1. Post a picture that is worth a 1000 words.

Courtesy of Born Rich.

2. Do you have a secret blog and if so why? If not, why not?

A secret blog is tempting, so I can write the truth about all of the people I can’t write the truth about here. Heh. Got you thinking that YOU’RE one of them, huh? Psyche your mind!

3. Write out three wishes for other people and say why you wish those things.

I wish Jerry Springer’s “guests” would just stop fucking their cousins.
I wish the Arizona Cardinals would get their act together.
I wish George Bush would consider a lobotomy.

4. If you had to make something with a grapefruit and two rubber bands what would it be?

Forget snakes! That’s a wicked way to take out terrorists on an airplane.

(Heh. I used “George Bush” and “terrorists” and “airplane”, I wonder how long it will take the CIA to search this site?)

5. Did you ever practice french kissing, and if so, on what, or how?

Yes, on a boy, and we worked on it until we got it right.

6. What is the most disgusting thing you’ve ever eaten?

Haggis. I was forced.

7. What is the most feminine (if you are a man) or masculine (if you are a woman) thing about you?

Apparently, the way I walk.

8. If you have pets, what are their names, and what inspired you to name them that?

Oz – after the character on Buffy (much as the family likes to think it’s after Mr. Osbourne)
Gadget – he’s tiny, he’s tuny, he’s just a little loony. Small dogs call for names that call small things to mind, I guess.
Gypsy – I just always knew I’d name a beagle Gypsy if I ever had one
Cheeto – because he’s got coloring under his chin that looks like Cheeto dust
Lucy – after two of my favorite characters; “While You Were Sleeping”, “50 First Dates”. Because we originally thought she was sweet (well, for a lizard). Natch.
Water Dragon – umm… we still haven’t named it.
Kali – I don’t know why Marie named the snake thusly.

9. Write a three line story about a time you were caught doing something wrong.

I didn’t do it.
Nobody saw me do it.
You can’t prove anything.

10. Using roughly 50 words, say nothing.

curmudgeon, lackadaisical, monstrosity, blank, forgo, pontificate, tiny, fabricate, ostentatious, placebo, guile, knickerbocker, rant, fade, masquerade, platform, zodiac, verily, toothsome, tallywacker, pillowcase, fern, hungry, probability, zounds, heretofore, onomatopoeia, flummox, recalcitrant, lascivious, perfidy, ancillary, paper, bulbous, concentrate, dome, feathers, mathematician, tchotchke, contemporaneous, morose, fantasy, petal, ceramic, hottentot, purple, franchise, kitchen, ineffectual, draconian.

11. Tell us about the worst job you’ve ever had.

Drive thru chickie at Burger King. In Maine. During the winter.

12. Create a new breed of human. What does it look like? What does it do? How does it procreate?

It can fly, live entirely off of junk food, and procreate just the same way we do now, cuz I can’t think of any better way to do it!

13. What do you think is the biggest threat to humanity right now?

Kevin Federline.
Mentos commercials.

14. Tell us about what your dream job would be.

Patrick Dempsey’s wardrobe assistant.

15. Who is the last person you wanted to kiss?

Wanted as in I did, but didn’t want to? All of my barley-water-and-moth-ball-smelling relatives when I was a kid.

16. How do you eat an oreo?

Twist it apart, eat the naked side first in one bite, then bite the other side in half, masticate, swallow, repeat with other half.

17. What would you say is your defining characteristic?

My sunny nature and outgoing personality. Bastids.

18. What is your cause?

For everyone to completely understand and come to cherish the wonders that are Funions.

19. Link one site that you have found that is useful or that makes you laugh




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