The flu is FIRED.

I’m home sick again today.  That’s three days in a row, though Monday doesn’t technically count as it’s my regular telecommute day anyway.  Yesterday was so bad that I e-mailed my boss and asked him to find coverage for me, I couldn’t even stay conscious long enough to work from home.  When you can’t sit in your jammies on the couch under twelve blankets with two different socks on and your laptop perched on top and type, you know you’re sick.

Calvin, brave guy with the work ethic that he is, went to work today.  I can hear Marie hacking away upstairs, so she’s down with it too and stayed home from work.  I haven’t seen her, she hasn’t seen me.  The only time I venture out of my bed is to refresh my tea and make some more toast.

EVERYBODY is coming down with this thing.  Bloggers all over the internet are dropping, valiantly typing about their conditions (as am I) and inflicting disease upon their keyboards.  Nearly everyone in my group at work as had it.  Nearly everyone Calvin works with has had it.  If you haven’t had it yet, just wait.  You will.  Oh yes, you will.

You’ll wake up one morning, and your entire body will ache.  Not enough to keep you down, but enough for you to occasionally stop throughout your day and question, “What did I do yesterday that made me so sore today?”  Then you’ll get an annoying tickle in the back of your throat.  That tickle will grow, as will the aches.  Suddenly you’re bone tired and sore as hell, your head will ache, your nose will alternately stuff and run, stuff and run.  The dry wracking cough will descend with a vengeance.  Your temperature will rise.  And you will curl up, miserable, and wish someone would come pet your head and bring you soup.  Or maybe shoot you and end your misery.

Yeah, it’s like that.

I really need to clean the kitchen – there’s not a clean dish or spoon or cup in the house, they’re all piled precariously in the sink.  I really need to do laundry – there’s not a clean sock or pair of jeans in the house, they’re all piled precariously in the hamper.

I really need to take another nap.